Here’s your Friday edition of the latest transfer round-up. The sun is shining, the air is warm, and Arsenal still haven’t bought or sold anyone.
After David Ornstein’s midweek revelation regarding our interest in the Crystal Palace man, there are reports today that the player has asked his club to lower the reported £80m asking price so he can join the club he supports.
We suspect this is like going into an Audi showroom and asking for a free A6 because you really like their cars. Palace don’t have to do anyone any favours, and that kind of price tag puts him out of our league.
Also, as much as we could do with him, he’s not an £80m player, so chances are we’ll turn our sights elsewhere.
Dan-Axel Joey Joe Joe Junior Zagadou
Like Zaha, interest from Arsenal has made his special area tingle, and he’s reportedly told Borussia Dortmund he’d like to leave and join us.
The report comes from Bild, the German publication which most sounds like a Housemartins song.
Have we made a bid? Will we make a bid? Do we even know who he is? Did we spend all our transfer budget on that Adidas promo.
Yes, yes we did. And it was worth it.
Football Scotland say we’ve had another bid for the left-back rejected. This time it was £17.5m with £7.5m in add-ons, based on appearances, achievements, and so on.
The Scottish champions are holding out for something closer to their £25m valuation.
Remember when you could buy a player in Championship Manager by offering £3.50 and £400m in add-ons? Maybe Raul is still on CM 99.
It’s Brazilian youngster has been widely expected to join us for some time now, and Internet sleuths have grainy pictures of him in London. There are also apparently Tweets from family members, and his sister probably said something on LinkedIN but let’s be honest about this, we should be working on a cure for LinkedIN and their incessant emailing.
Anyway, he’ll probably be announced next week.