Monday, November 29, 2021

Report: Arsenal recruit Huss Fahmy replacement

According to The Athletic, Arsenal are set to replace lead contract negotiator Huss Fahmy with the Premier League’s Director of Football, Richard Garlick.

The 44-year-old joins the Gunners after a two and a half years overseeing a range of areas, including football operations, football relations, youth development, coaching and young player education.

Prior to joining the Premier League, Garlick spent eight years working for West Bromwich Albion where he held posts as legal director/secretary and technical director.

David Ornstein reports that Garlick, who has a background in law, will work closely with Edu when he takes up his new position later this year.

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Alex

Let’s hope he doesn’t stink up the place

Old Bloke.

At least he will keep the vampires away.👹

Inspector norse

They like to be called agents nowadays.

Johnny 4 Hats

Garlic actually used to be a recognised cure for haemorrhoids.

Or Stan Kroenke as he’s affectionately known.

CannibalHector

He helped make some shrewd signings while Director at Brighton and Clove Albion.

YaGunnersYa

I hear he has some experience in working with a press-resistant bunch. Either way, he is sure to add a modicum of spice to our otherwise bland season.

John

Garlic wards off vampires. That definitely rules out any move for Luis Suarez then.

HenryKamp

In another news, David Luiz’s contract maybe extended.

YaGunnersYa

Will Garlick be a breath of fresh air? We do seem to be in need of a negotiator who can ward off the contract vampires whose clients bleed our cash flow dry.

Nainsley Aitland Miles

Let’s hope he scares off the £350,000 a week vampire.

Biggles

That’s the kind of contract – agreed in a panic at the time by the management/board – that won’t be negotiated again. Unfortunately there have been other more recent examples that we don’t really want to replicate if at all possible, Willian’s comes to mind…

Krumphax

I mean, actually twice. Both times in stressed circumstances and questionable planning going forward.

Biggles

Possibly, but the first one really was done is a panic having just lost the “star” players on very unfavourable terms because of dithering over his contract renewal. There was absolutely no excuse for the size of the contract that followed.

There may have been an element of anxiety over Willian’s signature – not sure why as I don’t recall him being in a lot of demand. Both contracts did/are doing serious damage to our finances though.

Dave

And Auba, in hindsight.

Goonerrific

“insert generic garlic pun here”

Paul Roberts

He comes from Kiev?

Marco Vermas

just need to sign John Bread now

Lolerinho

… or Ragnick Roasted

Lolerinho

I meant Ralf, dammit.

Roof_attack

sounds like a good appointment. lets hope he does a better job than his predecessor. Good luck Stinky Dick.

Biggles

I hope so but we’ll have to wait and see – people were saying the same thing about his predecessor, I recall.

Sac, Lac & Craic

Mr Garlic but will he sign Danny Onions?

PersonFace

Dick Garlick, Arsenal contract negotiator by day, crime fighting pornstar chef by night.

Paul

Only a few people will understand this

allezkev

I didn’t understand it but I still laughed.

PersonFace

You’re my favourite.

Reality check

The inevitable puns.. at least he’ll provide some amusement

Biggles

As long as he negotiates sensible contracts – which have been a pretty disastrous area for the club on some noticeable occasions.

Grymelock

Wait, we’re going from a guy who literally looked like Nosferatu to a guy named Garlick? Amazing.

allezkev

Brilliant

Russ

I wonder how much dough he’s on?

PersonFace

I’ve heard rumours he follows a strict low carb diet, can’t be that much.

Russ

yeah, walks around like butter wouldn’t melt…

Disarmed Gunner

Another recruit for another position that nobody actually has any clue what it entails. I assume he is required to give bear hugs to all, have gleaming white teeth (professionally whitened, of course) and talk about how great the project is. Few months, or years later, he’ll depart out the backdoor as discreetly as he snuck in. With his bank account a great deal richer.

Gooner79

Its sounds like he has the right experience to do a good job. Welcome Mr Garlic.

Double98

They didn’t have to sign him during a transfer window.. he could have been brought in a while ago to get his feet under the table

Biggles

How do we know he could have been brought in earlier? He may well have had other commitments that prevented it.

Ant

Probably put on gardening leave with the premier league for a bit first…

Paul Roberts

He was seem as too “green” until recently.

Paul Roberts

He’s only just become ripe.

Giuseppe Hovno

This is long overdue tbh but good news. At least he seems to have decent relevant experience

Charles

I suppose we’re about to become either the most or least corrupt team in the league.

SterdeyGooner

8 years at West Brom? Not like their football operations have been anything write home about recently. Combine that with the fact that the Premier League has been run shambolically for a while now, I dont think this is an appointment I can get excited about atm. Hopefully he can prove me wrong, even mediocre performance in his reported department would be a huge upgrade on what we’ve had up until now.

Roof_attack

thats the spirit!

SharpasFc

He’s not a scout! He will be dealing with contracts and making sure we have enough Home Grown players etc.

SterdeyGooner

I know that. I’m still not convinced that guy who’s being doing that job at a yoyo club, for 8 years while they yoyoed uncontrollably, is the guy who should be doing it at a team that should be prepping for title challenges and champion’s league qualifications.
Especislly given the weak performances of our current executive team

Giuseppe Hovno

as a business, premier league has been run fantastically and makes an absolute shit ton of money (not necessarily good for sport but good for business). it’s probably pretty darn hard managing contracts for a club that yoyos, probably harder than getting contracts right for a club like Arsenal, where it should be relatively straightforward it’s just been handled so poorly for years now it’s got to the point of being really complex

Paul

31 penalties for Arsenal next season

MrT

CV = West Brom, that says it all…

leftpinky

Technical director at west brom? That’s not bad and will hopefully stop these 32+ former chelsea players from being given three year contracts

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