Friday, June 21, 2024

Arteta excited to have nailed down Jesus

Mikel Arteta says he’s excited to work with Gabriel Jesus after the Brazilian completed his £45m from Man City today.

The pair have history from the manager’s time in Manchester, and bringing in a top class forward has been a key part of this summer’s business.

It has taken a bit of time for it to be completed, but that shouldn’t take away from what is an exciting deal for the club.

Speaking to the official site, Arteta said, “I’m very excited. The club has done a tremendous job to recruit a player of this stature. I know Gabriel personally very well, and we all know him well from his time in the Premier League and being really successful here.

“This is a position that’s been on our radar for a long time now and we have managed to get a player that we all wanted, so I’m really happy.”

While Technical Director Edu said of the arrival of his compatriot, “We are delighted that we have secured the transfer of Gabriel. Everyone who knows football well, knows the qualities of Gabriel Jesus.

“Gabriel is a player who we have admired for a long time now. He is 25 years old and an established Brazil international who has consistently demonstrated that he is a player at a very high level.

“We look forward to seeing him join up with his new teammates ahead of the new season. We all welcome Gabriel to Arsenal.”

As everyone knows, the new boy will wear the number 9 for the duration of his five year contract.

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that headline is bound to make someone cross


Crucifixion, one Cross each, door to the left…

Cliff Bastin

He looks so committed I reckon he would die for us.

Charles Charlie Charles

Here, brother, let me help you lighten your load. Oi, wait a minute, come back here!


Back in line!

Alan Sunderland

Not many Monty python fans on here by the looks of it.


Did he put a cross next to the terms and conditions?

(ps. as an evangelical Christian, the humour is all cool…)


cedric doesn’t need any incentives!


Really happy to have Jesus sign with us, I hope he fulfills all his potential and scores lots of goals and ends up a legend for us.

In particular I hope things don’t go badly for him and he gets crucified.


Even if he does get crucified, he’ll rise again.

Cliff Bastin

To those who doubt his abilities I say oh ye of little faith.


Hopefully Jesus will be able to resurrect his career here. He’s good on the cross apparently


We need Jesus on our side.

Cyprus The Immortal Gooner

Come on!


The only downside to this protracted transfer is I’ve had that god awful Phil Collins/Genesis song ‘Jesus He Knows Me’ in my head, on and off, for weeks.
Really hoping we don’t sign a Portuguese wonder kid called Sussudio.

Mike Stride

Great, I’ve got that song in my head now! was a good video tbf


A problem shared, and all that


That headline!

Brilliant! 😂


Is he standing on a block of wood? Genuinely surprised he is taller than Arteta


They’re both 1,75 (5ft 9)


Really? You mean as in;
Five foot nine,
He’s divine,
Changes water into wine.


our own personal Jesus

Charles Charlie Charles

Someone who’s there (in the box)

Once, twice, three times el neny

He better toil on the Sabbath though!


‘Arteta excited to have nailed down Jesus’:

I bow down to you, sir.

Jordan Tan

I have to admin, years ago when I first started noticing this Jesus lad at City, I’ve always thought to myself: “Wtf is wrong with this guy, his face is always so frowny, it’s as if he is always having some sort of permanent constipation while playing. Why can’t he just smile, playing as a striker at arguably the best team in England, sure there’s some reason to be happy & grateful with life eh?” I thought to myself, hah, he’s City’s problem & thankfully I don’t watch City. After reading all the insiders news in recent weeks, now I… Read more »

Man Manny

I was watching highlights of last season recently; I couldn’t help asking myself the classic question, WWJD – What Would Jesus Do when a clip of another of those Lacazette bloopers reeled by.
Time to find out.


We see what you do blogs, intentionally setting up pun-lit comment section with that header. Like it!

Santi’s Thigh Grab

Headline was 10/10, nice work Blogs.


He’s not the messiah….


If only he can chase Visit Rwanda out of the Emirates!


Best headline ever! I’m very excited to see this signing. Welcome to a real first class European level player with experience too


What’s better, the Partey/party puns or Jesus puns? Let’s give Edu and Arteta credit just for the content!

1970’s supporter

He will rise again


I’m looking forward to seeing Arsenal’s Ascension to the top of the premier league.


I keep thinking… imagine the headlines if he was a bloody keeper..
vs Liverpool as an eg:
Jesus saves! But Mohammed scores on the rebound.

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