Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Sort of a report: Arsenal 3-0 Lyon (inc goals)

Here’s are some bits and bobs from Arsenal’s xx with Lyon in the Dubai Super Cup this afternoon as we begin pre-season 2, the re-seasoning.

Starting XI: Hein, Cedric, Holding, Tierney, Elneny, Lokonga, Nelson, Odegaard, Vieira, Nketiah

Reiss Nelson hits the post.

Fabio Vieira through on goal, should score, but the keeper saves with his ballbag, then lies down trying not to be sick. Is it possible to vomit up your own balls? Possibly.

GOOOOALLL!! 1-0, Gabriel header from a Martin Odegaard corner. Keeper complains but he’s probably still trying not to puke a testicle.

Eddie Nketiah goes down injured. Gets back up again.

Swift Arsenal break, Tierney cross/shot deflects over. Vieira pulls a shot wide after good work from Eddie.

Drinks break: 6 Capri Sun, 3 Lucozade Sport, one cup of tea, and a banana milk.

GOOOALLL!!! 2-0, Eddie Nketiah with a lovely soft finish after a lovely Arsenal break. Lyon had come forward, lost the ball, and we caught them on the hop big style.

Lyon threaten, Dembele shoots not too far over.

WOOOOOOOWW, FABIO VIEIRA 3-0!!!! What a hit. Again, lovely Arsenal football. It looked for a second like we might have overcooked it, but Vieira curled a shot from outside the box right into the top corner. Perfectly cooked. Delicious.

Gabriel almost gets his second, glances a Cedric cross wide. He’s frustrated with himself. The man loves a goal.

Half-time: Arsenal 3-0 Lyon. We have been good. Lyon are not good.

Marquinhos comes on for Vieira at the break. Lacazette shoots over.

Laurent Blanc looks like a frustrated school principal whose work life is made worse by his tearaway teenage son who has fallen in with a bad crowd and was recently arrested for graffitiing an acid-house Pac-man on the side of a local politician’s house. Secretly though, he’s proud because the politician is a right twat.

Ooooooh, Marquinho forces a great save from the keeper. He cut in on his left foot, unleashed a fine shot which Anthony Lopes tips onto the bar.

Ooooooh, Elneny just wide after Arsenal worked it well. Shot from just outside the box, curled just beyond the post.

Lyon make a load of subs, one of whom is former Arsenal player, The Jeff. Another ex-Gunner departs, with Alex Lacazette coming off.

Marquinhos hits the side netting with the goal at his mercy – Lopes came for a cross, didn’t get there and fell over. No whistle for a foul, the young Brazilian ought to have scored there.

LOADS of Arsenal changes in the 66th minute. Too many to mention, it’s basically the entire team, but the likes of Ethan Nwaneri, Myles Lewis-Skelly, Matt Smith, and Amario Cozier-Duberry are introduced.

Great save Karl Hein, tips a Dembele header around the post.

More Lyon subs.

Lovely touch Mikel Arteta on the sideline. Still got it.

Almost 4-0! Cirjan’s shot hits the post, and Lyon do just enough to scramble the rebound wide.

What a tackle Lino Sousa.

Chance Cozier-Duberry, doesn’t make good contact with his header at the back post. And the 17 has another sight of goal as the clock winds down, but fires over from inside the box.

Full-time. Arsenal 3-0 Lyon.

The Dubai Super Cup rules mean there’s a penalty shoot-out afterwards, with a bonus point up for grabs for each side.

⚽️ Marquinhos 1-0

❌ The Jeff 1-0 (Hein save!)

⚽️ Smith 2-0

⚽️ Some Lyon lad 2-1

❌ Cirjan 2-1 (attempted Panenka, keeper stood up and just caught it)

❌ Some other Lyon lad 2-1 (Hein saves again!)

❌ Cozier-Duberry 2-1 (saved)

❌  Yet another Lyon lad 2-1 (Hein saves once more!)

❌ Walters 2-1 (over the bar!)

❌ LOLOLOLOL – the worst Panenka you will ever see, the easiest save Hein will ever make. 2-1

Arsenal win the shoot-out and gain the extra point.

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A. Williams

Worst penalty shoot out of all time.

Shogiknight

You missed the Spain shootout?

David C

I guess you missed Spain this week.

Man Manny

This one is worse if you ask me. The last kick – a panenka of sorts – from the Lyon guy was nauseating. Apart from the three that went in, the rest were distinctly poor penalties from both sides.

Qwaliteee

No my friend, that happened in Brussels in May 1980. Mario Kempes for Valencia. Missed. Surely the European Cup Winners’ Cup was bound for Highbury? Liam Brady for Arsenal. Missed. Maybe not. Valencia score four, we score four. (Sunderland, Stapleton, Hollins and Talbot). Sudden death. They score. Graham Rix, yellow shirt outside his blue shorts, socks rolled down to the ankles, barely recognisable with his recently cropped hair, doesn’t score. Two major cup finals lost in a matter of a few days. Welcome to pain, son. This is pain. This is how real life works. This is the team you… Read more »

Canadagoon

Thanks for sharing, I will add my story of pain…lets jump to 20 years later, where a young lad in Canada was watching Arsenal take on Galatasaray in the 2000 UEFA Cup Final. A team of legends: Bergkamp, Overmars, Viera, Adams, Kanu, young Henry, etc. surely the trophy is ours? The commentators talk about Hagi all game, very annoying. More annoying, Arsenal do not score, so off we go to penalties. Suker, the man with a shot like a cannon does not score. Romford Pele scores. Viera misses. And just that quickly we lost the final. Between this match and… Read more »

Canadagoon

Back here after today’s WC matches to just say yupp, shootouts still cause me pain. At least we get Martinelli back earlier than I predicted.

Bob

If football is ultimately entertainment, this was a magnificent penalty shoot out. Is there anything funnier than a caught panenka?

Rich

2 in one game

Walter White

Only seen the goals, but oh my word. The 3rd one was brilliant.

Joakimhu

Nice, 10 starters and Gabriel comes from nowhere to score

Morrisey fan #1

I know it’s not a competitive game but surely he’s got to be up there as one of our top scoring defenders by now?

Koscielny is our highest scoring defender in the Premier League era with 22 in the league over 9 seasons.

Gabriel is on 9 at the moment in less than 2.5 seasons so he’s averaging more per year and could overtake Kos around his 5th or 6th season.

SizC

But Kos’ goal against Newcastle was the equivalent of 40 -that doesn’t come up on statistics. The Spurs fans celebrating prematurely was priceless!

Willie Young

Would be interesting to see if any the youngsters that played get loaned out to other clubs this January

Eazy Deezy

We loaned out so many academy players over the summer, I don’t think there’s much scope for any more. The best academy kids are already all on loan

Badaab

Maybe not ‘the best’ academy players, but certainly those who need minutes at the senior level in an attempt to either raise their profile with hopes to above or increase their experience with hopes of further integration into the first team.

Nainsley Aitland Miles

We have 20 youngsters out on loan already. We do have to keep some around to fulfill U21 and U18 fixtures.

Dom47

Vieira looks like he can’t wait for the season to start. Timing of the assist is amazing, and the shot for the goal…. delicious!

Magneto

It’s no doubt just a question of time before Madrid, Barcelona, Milan etc are said to be monitoring him.

Oddo

And Juve

Aditya

Was Lyon that bad or are we in that good shape? Looks like we will hit the ground running when pl starts.

Nainsley Aitland Miles

Well Arsenal certainly had the Lyons share of possession.

.!.ziRascal

There are only 10 in your starting XI. I think there’s a central defender missing (Gabriel?)

Man Manny

Saw the match on TV. I was really impressed with Karl Hein in goal. Some of his kicks were Ramsdale-sque in precision, and he dealt with what little came his way well.

Henkamp

We were just a ton sharper than Lyon; a lot similar to when we were looking sharper than all our opponents in pre-season and see how that translated into a wonderful start for us.

If we can just settle into our groove faster than the likes of Man City, when things resume, it could turn out to make a huge difference.

And oh, how brilliant was the third goal? Not only the finishing, but also the build up!

The legend of Salibaba

Any sign of ESR? Surely he’s looking to be back in the action fairly soon?

An update would be welcome. Zinchenko also missing.

Once, twice, three times el nenyy

The Jeff has returned!!!

GateCrasher

Happened to be at the game today (first time I’ve managed to get my hands on a ticket all season! And needed to be in another country!) and was right behind the goal when Fabio curled it in. Can confirm it was v tasty 🙂

assistantref

Maybe there’s something in the water in that region of the world that’s making everyone absolutely terrible at penalties.

Naija Gooner

I actually thought was taking a piss …when I saw “…Lacazzete shoots over…”.

Blaxxm

We should recall Folarin Balogun

TeeCee

Great idea. I recall him being quite good.

John Wright

This is the most English sentence I’ve read in a long time:

Drinks break: 6 Capri Sun, 3 Lucozade Sport, one cup of tea, and a banana milk.”

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