Saturday, April 27, 2024

Report: Arsenal 3-0 Bolton

[Professor from Futurama] Good news everybody! [/Professor from Futurama]

Arsenal won a game, and kept a clean sheet, and scored three goals, and probably should have scored more.

It was all about the second half, as the first was the dullest 45 minutes since time began. Apparently Bolton had a great early chance but my stream went kaput and I didn’t see it and my new outlook on stuff is if I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen.

Arsenal needed a good start to the second half and they got it. After just 38 seconds, Robin van Persie decided ‘I’m not taking this shit anymore, bitch’, took a pass from Ramsey, drove outside the defender and beat Jaaskelainen at his near post. 1-0 Arsenal

It got better for Arsenal then as Bolton had David Wheater sent off. Again it was a Ramsey pass that put Theo in behind, there was some vague contact from Wheater, Walcott fell over, ref gave Wheater a red card. I suppose, if you looked at it objectively, you might say it was harsh but this is an Arsenal site, so fuck them. It’s not as if they haven’t had it coming down the years, the Allardyce stained twatbastards.

Arsenal then began to fire shot after shot at Jaaskelainen who made some very good saves from Ramsey, Arteta and others.

In the 71st minute Arsenal went 2-0 up, again through van Persie. Ramsey played Walcott down the right hand side, he drove into the box, fired in a low cross and van Persie’s cheeky flicked finish was his 100th goal for the club.

The captain had been involved in some handbags with most of the Bolton team while the Arsenal players stood and watched and scoring again meant he was all like ‘Yeah, have that bitches’ and they were all like ‘Awwww’ and he was all like ‘Ahahahaha!’.

Arsenal should have had more. Walcott squandered two brilliant chances, one when he just had the keeper to beat but his shot was tame and easily saved.

It was left to Alex Song to make it 3-0. A Sagna pull back found its way to Song on the edge of the box, he went outside the defender and curled it into the top corner. A quality finish.

The only slight downside was the sight of Theo Walcott pulling up with what Wenger revealed was a sharp pain in his knee, but the main thing is that Arsenal won today.

Three delicious points, served with a side of three tangy goals, topped with a creamy clean sheet sauce.

The beers will taste good tonight, Gooners.

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Ty

I love happy match reports from Blogs. So much more comedy and wit.

RSI

So sweet

Luke

Hallelujah!

jay

YEEHHEHSHESHSEHSEHSHSEHSHESHSSHSESHESHSSSS!!!

Jim

Sweet-as-a-nut!

Liamogunner

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. i am happy.

chris

And not only did we get 3 points we now don’t have the worst defence in the league either.

The Noise

Great win & much needed 3 points…

The mugs towards the end though singing “There’s only one Arsene Wenger…” tainted the day a little for me!
Silly sheep… Ignoring 6 months of lies & humilations for beating 10 men Bolton at home! Ohh dear!

legio

But it is true, there is only one Arsene Wenger… Unless someone cloned him of course.

argonaut

Arseclone Wenger?

The Red and White Observer

I hope its all irony… because if it is’nt you are a ……

Only One

Dont be so fucking miserable, 3-0 3 points, lovely

nuetral

I have to say that lots of times I am embarassed for Wenger with some of the things he comes up with at press conferences. It makes me squirm and I try not to watch him too much. I’m also bitter about the blatant bait and switch with regards to summer transfer activity and “only buy quality” line when the team is packed full of distinctly average players that Wenger bought. Anyway, I thought they looked great this afternoon, especially in the second half. Ramsey looked much better, good news what with Jack gone for likely more than half the… Read more »

Dave

The fans at the game singing “There’s only one Arsene Wenger…” demonstrates what a tiny minority the “Arsene Out” faction is. Get yourself a mirror if you want to know who the mugs are.

Good-Bloke

“Three delicious points, served with a side of three tangy goals, topped with a creamy clean sheet sauce”

Could not have put it any better.

Life is good.

Frederico Gonzalez

Gotta admit that the ‘one Arsene Wenger’ chant was pretty irritating as well, but a win is a win and I will take it! Well done lads!!

ShahiGooner

Happy days, now bring on the Champions League!

Good-Bloke

COMMENT REMOVED (personal abuse)

Only One

Couldnt have put it better

Rusty

Dear ‘the noise’
There really is only one Arsene Wenger as far as I know- except of course you know another

Good-Bloke

Arsenal 3-0 up and the fans singing “ONE ARSENE WENGER” is all couldI ever want from a home game.

Master Bates

Yeah ,Support the Manager , I love positive FANS

I also liked the “We are staying up!” chants

Nick77

Hopefully this is the start of a good winning run come on

The Noise

COMMENT REMOVED (personal abuse)

Gabe

great result, let’s hope they keep on coming. i was a bit disappointed that none of our players backed up robin when he was set upon by the drooling mob that is the bolton team, poor show lads. otherwise though, a good win and a damn relief.

THENRY

COMMENT REMOVED (personal abuse)

The Red and White Observer

Wenger: ‘You [the media] were consistent in wanting to get me out and I was consistent in wanting to stay. So we were both consistent.’ I LOVE THAT QUOTE… PRICELESS. HE IS ON FORM

Good-Bloke

COMMENT REMOVED (personal abuse)

The Noise

COMMENT REMOVED (personal abuse)

The Red and White Observer

The Noise
September 24, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Wow fella… you are top of your game tonight.
Just think what we’ve learnt from your input
Your reverence holds no bounds
I bow to you and your eloqent diatribe.

The Noise

Last time I checked, I said ‘good win & much needed 3 points’… Sounds like I enjoyed the win there!

Kids… You really need to learn how to read before posting!

Zeeshan

Well its a much needed win no doubt but we should not get too excited ,let the team put in a run and show their mettle ,we have a long way to go .

Popeye

We are staying up chants fucking classic worth the entrance fee alone. Sides still aching.

Toral

COMMENT REMOVED (personal abuse)

Fatgooner

Fuck me! We’ve just won by three goals and kept a clean sheet! I must be dreaming!

And now you’re gonna believe us….we’re gonna win the league!

Fud

The noise u crazy yo you real you real crazy. WE WON. yeeeah boooy

Rebiin

Why are you fighting?! We won!

Bob T

I was at the game today, and I sang “there’s only 1 arsene wenger” why wouldn’t you? You go to support the fucking team and the manager. I’m simply perplexed as to why you wouldn’t. I know the results have been bad, but you have to support the team.

Chrispy

Walcott – ‘Sharp pain in his knee…’ and with our injury luck it’ll be his cruciate and he’ll be out for the season!

Elbaldino

Although personal abuse isn’t allowed, what about self abuse?

Good-Bloke

Well said Blogs.

And I would like to Apologise to the noise for being a bit of a bellend.

Forward1886

Fuck Kevin Davies.

Bob T

HATE, HATE, HATE we won 3-0. HATE, should have scored 12. Wenger out. Really?

northerngoon

I’m going to sound like a right bell end but what’s the deal with AKB? I’m guessing there is some undertone or slight that I’m missing. Blogs if you’d prefer to email me the answer that’s cool.

northerngoon

Cheers bud

Sd

The reason none of the other players backed up RVP was because fighting would have started and Gervinho or Song would have been sent off. Good discipline in my opinion.

3 points and a clean sheet, nice one lads.

Bromley Gooner

Up the arse!!

ManBearPig

Nice one from the lads today…. RVP is a legend!
Oh, looking forward to when we whip out our Ox-Coq & pound defences…

Shamps

….pound holes….in defences?

Enjoyed the 3 points today. The watery post-match lager at the ground tasted exceptional. Sweet sweet cleansing lager.

Chiranjit Ojha

Song for the night: “Happiness is a Warm Gun”

Go gunners! 🙂

Popeye

Love to see the ox released on spurs, something new that they can’t handle and he’s young and without fear hopefully. Have a feeling we Are going to need everything we can find against them next week. The ox may just give us an edge.

More than a Name...

If you got to moan when we lose, why won’t you celebrate a good 3-0 plus 3 point win. I didn’t read any comment about how we lose to liverpool & man utd because of red card. So, why point out bolton red card as reason we win?

zak

Loving 3 points for a change and of course the team should be supported. Only complaint I can make about the game is Arsene’s substitutions. I almost always think he is spot on, but I thought every sub today was a poor choice. Up 2-0, at home, against a really poor side reduced to 10 men, and we can’t give the Ox some valuable minutes where there would be no pressure? What about Park? Why do we need Arshavin in the last 15 minutes when we we could give the Ox more chance to bed into the squad instead? Why… Read more »

chris

I think he bought on them players to possibly see if we could create and score more goals. Considering how bad our goal difference is at the moment and how we need to get into positive number as quickly as possible other than that i can’t think of any other explanation.

Gooneristic

Because this Arsenal team has an amazing ability to implode at any time, and if that had happened people would be bemoaning the substitutions.

Ray Parlour

That’ll be all.

She wore

One day these bozo’s that slag wenger off will realise………………….

Oleg Luzhny

Bolton had one chance, and that was that. Was only going to be one winner.

I’m just curious when we are going to see Chu-Young? Our #9 can’t even make the bench!

Arsetroll

A good win and some good beers. Ah…. life have its moments…

morefiah

Couple of things: 1. Just watched Menu play Stoke and believe me, they didnt look so unbeatable to me. I think they escaped with a point there. And Stokes goal wasnt an own or offside goal. 2. We’ve had a string of bad results and even worst luck…against Blackburn, 2 own goals and an offside goal. We should really put things into perspective people; our team defended really well today and u can see that the defence line is gelling more. We’ve had almost a total change in personnel and in any organization it takes time for new ppl to… Read more »

Gabe

what does AKB even stand for?

Smeer Na$ri (with shit)

Arsene Knows Best

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