Report: Vietnam 1-7 Arsenal

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Arsenal scored another comprehensive pre-season win with a 7-1 win over Vietnam in the sweltering heat this afternoon. Arsene Wenger started with an XI of:

Szczesny – Jenkinson – Sagna – Koscielny – Gibbs – Arteta – Rosicky – Oxlade-Chamberlain – Gnabry – Podolski – Giroud

And the Gunners took an early lead when Giroud twatted home a delicious Rosicky pass in the 5th minute, and the Frenchman almost double the lead, and his tally, when he wombatted a 30 yard fizzer just wide of the post.

Vietnam looked better than Indonesia but that’s a bit like saying a shaven scrotum looks better than one with some gnarled, crusty pubes on it. One of their blokes spannered a shot wide in the 27th minute but Szczesny remained untroubled.

Shortly afterwards Lukas Podolski bamboozled his way through the Vietnam defence, but was so impressive Giroud was standing in quiet admiration rather than anticipating the pass which would have given him a tap-in.

Bacary Sagna head-bashed away a Vietnam free kick before getting in a good foot-cruncher as the home side found some space behind the Arsenal defence. Another one of their blokes glubbered a shot from distance over bar before Mikel Arteta returned the favour with a 30 yard free kick.

Lukas Podolski then seal-clubbed a shot against the post and Vietnam keeper, Duong Hong Son, made a smart save from Serge Gnabry’s rebound effort.

Just before half-time Giroud doubled Arsenal’s lead, running on to a poor Vietnam clearance and flibnobbing a first time shot just inside the post. And just moments later the HFB made it 3-0 after a great Oxlade-Chamberlain pass put him through on goal and he deftly tallywhacked it over the keeper and into the net.

Arsenal made a raft of changes at half-time and got the second half off to a great start when Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain made it 4-0, latching onto a Walcott pass and cribswobbling home for his first goal of pre-season.

Chuba Akpom scored twice in couple of minutes to make it 5, then 6-0, the youngster taking his goal tally for the tour to three, and fellow strapling Gedion Zelalem catching the eye with some sumptuous passing.

Jack Wilshere was brought on for his first action of pre-season as Arsene Wenger also gave run-outs to Olsson, Aneke, keeper Damian Martinez.

Ignasi Miquel, linked today with a move to Real Sociedad, mashed home Arsenal’s 7th in the 75th minute, before the home side got a rather fortuitous goal which was greeted with rapturous applause by the home crowd.

Martinez was forced into a great save, finger-snatching away a powerful Vietnam free kick which was swerving like a Twitter ITK called out on their bullshit.

Vietnam then had their goalkeeper sent off for handling the ball outside the area, with one of the outfield players grabbing the gloves and going in nets like a schoolyard game. Why the ref couldn’t have left him on with just 2 minutes to go is a good question, but, you know, refs.

There was a slight worry as Aaron Ramsey left the pitch before the final whistle, hopefully nothing serious.

The game finished in a tropical rainstorm, but the sun was shining in Arsenal hearts as appalling metaphors concluded this report.

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jason
jason

Again this tour is all for money. Its not good preperation for the beginning of the season, a lot of travelling and your jet lagged and the competition is of a very low quality.

It will be a big jump in quality after this tour and it will be a bit of a shock for the players when they start playing premier league opposition believe me.

Dr Baptiste
Dr Baptiste

“It will be a big jump in quality after this tour and it will be a bit of a shock for the players when they start playing premier league opposition believe me” unlike last season when we played in Blue Square South?

RC Motors
RC Motors

Surely the fact that they got game time in what appears to be extremely hot and humid conditions could not have done their fitness any harm. And surely seeing hordes and hordes of arsenal fans would have done their morale a load of good. Not an entirely useless excercise IMO.

Ed
Ed

Flibnobbing a shot is the best way to score

Merlin's Panini
Merlin's Panini

Blogs, I’m going to expect the wonderful made up words for every type of shot now. I agree it was an absolute flibnobber of a strike!

Saurabh
Saurabh

I have been reading Mr. Blogs for years now but just cannot figure out how he has arrived at “flibnobbing”

Confused
Confused

Re: cribswobbling – I need a little clarity. Is it pronounced ‘cribs wobbling’ or ‘crib swobbling’? Please enlighten…

me
me

Is a flibnobbing similar to what Gallas did? a.k.a a helmet header

xxxrob
xxxrob

I would argue that seal-clubbing a shot is superior in every conceivable way!

I work in an office and when I read that I actually let out a “HA” and people looked at me quizzically

Jackio
Jackio

At 1:50am? You poor bugger

xxxrob
xxxrob

Lol it’s 1:50am your time. For me it was around 11am or something, I was at work.

Unless that’s what you were referring to when you said poor bugger haha

OroSuke
OroSuke

Hope to see more of Zelalem. Keshi put an eye out for Akpom

Savage
Savage

Zelalem looks class when he has the ball. I think what will determine his future is how good he is off it.

aus
aus

zelalem was, dare i say it, cesc-esque

C
C

Ditto Gnabry. Looks smart, dangerous.

WengersNoseHair
WengersNoseHair

Whereas Saurez looks stupid and dangerous. Or stupidly dangerous.

FarAwayLad
FarAwayLad

woahh Gedi Gedi….

djthegooner
djthegooner

I know you cant really read too much into friendlies but I think Miquel is ready for premier league football, no need to loan him out

Nikki
Nikki

What a colorful vocab in this post Blogs, and even better when you realize it’s just in 1 minute after the game. What a miracle work..

On another note, Zelalem is magnificent again. His performance is even better than the one again Indonesia, I particularly like both of his pass to Walcott, which is superb although not end up to be a goal. It’s just that he seems to focus to passing that he became reluctant to shoot. Hope he will learn more in the next game.

Emannuel Eboue
Emannuel Eboue

was swerving like a Twitter ITK called out on their bullshit. Perfect. More of this through the season please, Mr Blogs.

May I suggest the ball begged to be hit like Four Four whatever’s Sulia link or a plea for an RT or a favourite or retweet poll etc and so on.

Henners
Henners

This article made me laugh way too much, flibnobbing was a personal favourite.

Henry's beard
Henry's beard

Not wishing to overhype the kid or anything, but Zelalem… he’s a bit fucking special isn’t he?

Thanis Lim
Thanis Lim

Walcott has got to learn to take his chances well. He’s taken quite a lot of shots and failed to score. Perhaps it’s the lack of match fitness – but being this wasteful will not do well for our campaign.

Savage
Savage

If there’s any thing you can say about Theo these days, it’s: “he takes his chances well”

gaygooner
gaygooner

depends what you mean by these days, because you certainly couldn’t say that of him today. maybe when he’s going through a consistent patch

Wa
Wa

Hahahaha. Loving the adjectives:)

TeeCee
TeeCee

Er, verbs.
E.g: I wombat. Thou wombatest. You wombat. He wombats. They wombat. We all wombat.

Thus, in the phrase; “he wombatted a 30 yard fizzer”, “wombatted” is the action made by the actor “he” on the object (or noun) “fizzer”.
The adjective there is the more prosaic “30 yard” as that describes what sort of fizzer it was.

I used to go out with an English teacher. Unfortunately we broke up, as she disliked my improper use of the colon…..

gaygooner
gaygooner

yh you sound a bit anal 😀

twisted cuntloks
twisted cuntloks

I used to go out with an English teacher. Unfortunately we broke up, as she disliked my improper use of the colon…..

what a load of crap

twisted cuntloks
twisted cuntloks

I thought it was one of my better jokes!

Trevor
Trevor

Ahem. They’re verbs actually but yeah…

Mooro
Mooro

So 7 goals and not one of them blunderbussed, flibbertyjibberted or absolutelycunted into the net.

Wenger out.

Hoosier Gunner
Hoosier Gunner

“swerving like a Twitter ITK called out on their bullshit.”

That was one heck of a simile there! Great job there, Blogs.

gaygooner
gaygooner

O little man called Ze-za-lem,
You play with such disguise.
Great weight of pass; you’re feet are so fast,
And you like to give the eyes

Rambling Pete
Rambling Pete

Decent performance, good win, the opposition weren’t up to much. Still, all you can do is beat the teams in front of you. I remember when I played for my Sunday League team we had a manager who said just that. ‘Don’t worry about how good or bad they are win you win’, and it does help to keep you focused. I remember one game, against the team bottom of the league, we were really struggling, 1-0 down with about 15 minutes to go and a dog ran on the pitch. After the game the dog was still running around so I took him home and he lived with me for 8 years before I had to have him put to sleep last winter because of liver failure. I still miss you Chester.

Mooro
Mooro

I love your stories. Even though this one is sad.

gaygooner
gaygooner

that was my fucking dog!

Mooro
Mooro

What you did with it before you lost it is your business. I wouldn’t advertise it though.

gaygooner
gaygooner

nothing to be ashamed of, we were both perfectly happy and fulfilled by the relationship

ack ack ack
ack ack ack

awww chester. good story. now if we can only get some sympathetic bloke to take bendtner home for… the next decade.

Matt
Matt

Please don’t use tallywhacked in the same paragraph as Giroud. It gets me hotter and sweatier than I already am. I reckon HFB has a huge HFP

Savage
Savage

And the pervs come out to play, Blogs included

Eboues Hairbrush
Eboues Hairbrush

That one made me laugh so hard I flobbernobbed my phone on the floor.

SecretBob
SecretBob

Best match review ever, this and the chunderwhomping comments so far……

Bobs
Bobs

John Terry is a flibnobber.

Dr Baptiste
Dr Baptiste

take away the flib and it still works

trackback

[…] thump VietnamEurosport.com ASIAVietnam fan meets Arsenal team after pursuing their busBBC NewsReport: Vietnam 1-7 ArsenalArseblog News (blog)Sports Mole -Mirror.co.uk -The Guardianall 62 news […]

afc
afc

zalalem looks better than wilshere. the guy is going to be in arsenal for the next 10 years

Merlin's Panini
Merlin's Panini

I reckon the Vietnam goal was a bit of a lumpwangler myself.

Dr Baptiste
Dr Baptiste

We conceded a goal?! Right! Arsene and Ivan need to sign a whole new back four and ‘keeper or both out.

ack ack ack
ack ack ack

wouldn’t mind if we signed a CB & a keeper, though.

FarAwayLad
FarAwayLad

I don’t see the need for another keeper at all, Sir Chesney is doing great and I would be happy to see him spend his career with us, fabianksi is a handy 2nd choice as he showed us last season. Another CB would be nice though

Indonesian Gooner
Indonesian Gooner

Defence is still sh*t. Can’t even keep a cleansheet vs bunch of jokers? What is wenger playing at? Bring on suarez!

wengersauce
wengersauce

sarcasm is not our strong point, as the relentless jollyrogering your comment received should indicate

Arrrrs
Arrrrs

Highlights anywhere?

gaygooner
gaygooner

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c03uoisBP0

its stewart robson so so might wanna mute …

FarAwayLad
FarAwayLad

arsenal player mate, everything is free at the moment. also you can watch the whole match the minute it finishes live

Matt
Matt

I can only apologise for my filthy mind and my previous sordid comment. Olivier can make a man have funny thoughts y’know.

Hopefully this justification will make even the most homophopic amongst you, whack my thumbs-up at the bottom.

brian
brian

Upside.Giroud scored three very tidy goals.
Downside.Wenger will probly decide we now dont need to sign a new striker.

Upside.Sagna looked pretty good at centre back.
Downside.Wenger will now probably conclde we have enough strength in that department.

Upside,Martinez made a half decent save from a free kick.
Downside.Wenger will no doubt say we are well covered in the goal keeping position.

ack ack ack
ack ack ack

sideways – no one, including wenger, will (or should, at least) actually be reading meaningfully into these preseason performances. they’re a warmup, a runout. maybe his ears will perk up if one of the youngsters shows some star qualities, but that’s about it. everyone calm down.

Kolololo
Kolololo

Did you see Wenger smile after Giroud’s second goal vs Indonesian Dream Team? It was a smile of a man who has just decided to hide 70 million pounds in his socket. And yes, it’s a big socket.

gaygooner
gaygooner

Upside: We win the league this season …
Downside: Wenger might sign a new contract!! Nightmare!!!!!

Better hope we don’t sign any players if that’s gonna make the above scenario more likely. And hope the ones Wenger has signed have a shocker! Arghhhhh so confused!!! Arsenal till I die! Wenger out!! brain hurts

Merlin's Panini
Merlin's Panini

If we win the league this season surely it would be a good thing that Wenger signs a new contract?

goonerbynature
goonerbynature

Completely agree. How could we POSSIBLY give Wenger a new contract if he goes and wins a trophy.

Rodders1971
Rodders1971

7-1?We’re going backwards on this tour,Wagner out!

The '92 Away Kit
The '92 Away Kit

Anyone know whats happening with Frimpong? Didnt know if hes out of favour, out of contract, injured again or just too damn dench for pre-season…

wengersauce
wengersauce

injured, according to his twitter at least

Henry's Almighty Tallywacker

No link to goals video?

Urgh. Now I have to give oxygen to that loathable “Lady Arse” website. NOOOOOOO

Joeos
Joeos

Have you ever visited arsenal.com?

Henry's Almighty Tallywacker

Did I inspire your Tallywacking?

Seal clubbed was my favourite.

Mozilla
Mozilla

This is why i love this site.. all the comments are just pure class…

Redröad
Redröad

Bendtner could also get a hatrick. Isnt he tgstel?

Danny
Danny

“One of their blokes”

I lost it at that one haha

trackback

[…] left Vietnam last night having dispensed another seven goal spanking in the friendly game against the national […]

Mertesacker's Houseboy
Mertesacker's Houseboy

Here’s to more flibnobbing, tallywacking, wombatting, and seal clubbing for the new season!

Femi
Femi

The use of elevated languages here made me thunderstrucked and made my mouth wide agape. I dumped my football-yeaning mind and tame my cerebrum to the newly surfacing words in the English world!
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