Saturday, May 25, 2024

Arsenal 4-1 Norwich: player ratings

It wasn’t quite as comfortable as the scoreline suggests, but the quality of the Arsenal goals was second to none. Here’s how the players rated …

Wojciech Szczesny: 7/10 – Wasn’t overly troubled, could do little about the goal, but otherwise did what he had to do well.

Bacary Sagna: 7/10 – Got forward well, crossing was a bit inconsistent but solid as usual. Wasn’t much helped by having fluctuating cover from those ahead of him.

Per Mertesacker: 7/10 – The clearance which led to their goal was a bit iffy, but what do you want us to do? Hunt him him down and kill him? Then lay his remains at the feet of his children? While beating their puppy to death? What’s wrong with you?!

Laurent Koscielny: 7/10 – Quick. Strong. And very, very long. Or something. That could be Andrex. Oh well.

Kieran Gibbs: 7/10 – Would be nice to see a little more end product in the final third but another Gibbsian goodie all round.

Mathieu Flamini: 7/10 – Was actually knocked unconscious when he clashed heads with Tettey but refused to close his eyes and give in to the darkness. Taken off for his own protection and it did affect the team for a time. We hear he’s in a coma now. But walking around and chatting to people as normal.

Mikel Arteta: 7/10 – Passing was a bit off today, a bit sluggish at times, still trying to find his form after injury, but one cleverly won free kick in his own box makes up for it all.

Jack Wilshere: 8/10 – Full of drive and running, and he scored one of the greatest goals in Premier League, perhaps even Arsenal, history. He started and finished the move. This is going to be replayed forever.

Santi Cazorla: 7/10 – He looked tired when he came off after an hour, and his game was a bit hit and miss after 6 weeks out, but we love him and love changes, changes everything. Just ask Climie. But not Fisher. He’s a twat.

Mesut Ozil: 8/10 – Two excellent goals, some beautiful play, might have had a hat-trick and definitely should have had a penalty. £42.5m seems cheap.

Olivier Giroud: 8/10 – Didn’t score but held it up well again and provided two fantastic assists. His part in Wilshere’s goal was sensational.


Aaron Ramsey: 8/10 – Another amazing goal from the Welshman and he forced Ruddy into a series of very good saves. What a season he’s having.

Tomas Rosicky: 7/10 – Fantastic cross to Ramsey who set up Ozil’s second of the game, helped change the dynamic at a time when Arsenal were struggling to get into the game.

Nicklas Bendtner: 7/10 – Got big cheers for his first home touch, looked quick and sharp and played a key role in Arsenal’s 4th.

Bonus rating:

Jack Wilshere’s goal – Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman/10

Feel free to debate and discuss in the comments, but please read the comment policy first and don’t get angry with each other, or me, about imaginary points.

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Perfection in patches.

Bombay Gunner

Well said. There were moments where we seemed a bit lethargic. But that was compensated by moments of brilliance.
It was lovely seeing Santi again. Seemed a bit rusty but his wizardry was still evident. Rambo was incredible again. What a fucking engine.
And of course, ”that” Wilshere goal – the stuff of YouTube compilations.


How fitting that the goal be struck by the one man in the team who would run himself into the ground for the Arsenal…looks like he’s finally surrounded by the quality he wanted…and he’s repaying the faith in spades

Super fuckin’ team…UP the Arse!!

Parisian Weetabix

I think the brilliant thing is he isn’t the one man in the team who would do so anymore. Almost all of them seem as though they would. All our players love each other, and today they played some unworldly stuff.

2013-2014 = 2003-2004

Roy Hodgson, thank you choosing Michael Carrick and Frank Lampard over Jack Wilshere for the two England games. The much-needed rest done him well

By the way… what the fuck were you thinking?!

Gunner From Another Mother

What a fucking display my fellow gunners. Top class goals, and for me Bendtner’s cameo was the cherry on top. He talked the talk and he’s starting to walk the walk.

Unyoke the Ox

Yet sky still choose to show the Chelsea game on snf. Lets hope motd give it the airtime it deserves.


all the goals in that game came from sloppy play or mistakes…all of ours were objectively brilliant…we’ve got to win a title for the media to finally give us due credit.


When Cazorla was called off and the TV camera panned to Rosicky, I just laughed the happiest laugh I’ve laughed watching Arsenal in a while. It’s such an unbelievably welcome sight from Coquelin on for Arteta or whatever we used to do.

Not that Le Coq’s a bad player, I hope he takes over from Arteta one day.


Nice to see Bendtner looking sharp. We will need him in the coming weeks


Bendtner to turn his career around at Arsenal?


I really hope so. I have no idea why but my disliking of him being lazy these last couple of seasons has disappeared.


I honestly think it’s his hair and beard. That and in the past (two?) games he hasn’t looked selfish or overconfident for a while and hasn’t come up with any ridiculous quotes.


It’s the Shogun look that does it for me.

I would say Viking, but the beard isn’t overwhelming enough to be classed as a Viking. Shogun will have to do.


Easy now with the Thumps down guys, was just in super jolly mood enjoying a glass of wine celebrating our victory and thought of what I will say when Big Nick actually bends one into the top corner.


Ramsey left 2 players for dead with absolute skill then to rub salt into injury he backheeled it to Ozil

Can i take him home now?

The Real Gazidis

That’s what can happen when your manager believes in you when everybody else has lost theirs. The guy plays his heart out every game for Arsene Wenger.


I have a sneaky feeling about Bendtner. Something about him makes me think he has grown up and really want to do well this time around.


Could that be the end of the contract looming concentrating type thingy? I like Big Nick and hope he gets 25 goals, but would he then sign a new contract or piss off somewhere else for more money?

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

I hated Bendtner when he said he’d never play for us again, and when he was trying to leave and couldn’t even do that properly I went into “who gives a fuck” mode whenever I thought of him. But now I see such great team spirit at Arsenal, and he seems to be a part of it, and I think that, if he’s finally getting the point about being a Gooner and if he can see what a balls-up he’s made of the last two or three years of his career and really wants to turn it all around, then… Read more »


Few can NICK the ball from the opposition with KLAS and BEND it into the to conNER like Nicklas Bendtner

Edu's fake passport

close but one too many K’s & missed the T

Si in Galway

punning so painful it makes everyone who reads it feel physically ill

Parisian Weetabix

I enjoyed it.


And his hair and his beard.


Good to see Cazorla back

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

A not quite match-fit Cazorla is worth five, um, I don’t actually know who all the Norwich midfielders are, but yeah, he’s worth five of them even when he’s half shagged out.


I am not sure whether to replay that wilshere goal or the ramsey one .Damn i love this team


Who thumbed this down?

You’re a twat whoever you are.

I love this team too!

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

All they had to do was say “Play them both” and they’d have been applauded. Honestly, people are a bit quick with thumping those thumbs (the down one anyway). Everybody should count to 10 when they read something they don’t agree with, and then they might be able to write something constructive… or at least turn their irritation into some super-cruel witty and cutting reply. Then they can thumb it down too. I recorded the game and I will be keeping it on my hard drive forever and replaying the whole thing over and over. It showed little flashes of… Read more »


Why do people get so upset by a downward thumb? Haters gonna hate etc.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Sometimes the only reason somebody thumbs a post down is because they have a grudge against the poster, or are Spuds trying to stir up trouble. I mean, who would react negatively to an Arsenal fan saying he can’t choose a favourite between two great Arsenal goals, and that he loves Arsenal, on an Arsenal blog, in response to a post about a great win for Arsenal with four nice goals scored by Arsenal. It can’t stem from a normal Arsenal fan, can it?


Weren’t at our best today but the goals were simply brilliant. All 4, like sex on the fucking beach

Caz was a 6 though

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Better than sex on the beach. You still get the utter joy, but no scratchy sand stuck in tender places.

Cazorla was fine, and whether he had a great game or not he needed to be given that hour on the pitch. He’ll be sharper next game for having that run out.


good read. brb cleaning my room. need to find extra tissues for all these “mess” that I had after watching the game.


Ozil! Giroud! Wilshere!! Carzola! Ramsey!!!!!!!!!!! …..take me away




Ref was on form too.. giving us absolutely nothing as usual.


Well, he gets an Ann Hathaway as Catwoman/10 from me, a significant improvement on the Halle Berry refereeing against Villa and WBrom. But still shit.

boston arse

I preferred Anne Hathaway. Also, Ozul and Ramsey should be 9/10.


the only way this day could get any better is if spurs lose.come on villa!

Edu's fake passport

surely that would count as a different day as its tomorrow?


my bad too much drinks 😀

Edu's fake passport

No such thing as too many drinks!!


Agreed. Time traveling into the future would be awesome.


£42.50 is quite cheap indeed, yes.


Was just wondering after what should have been the peno at the end there, who’s going to take them for us? Obviously it would have been Ozil today but will he take them in future as I think he takes them for Germany or will we stick with Arteta? Or Giroud? Anybody know?


Why bother, the way the ref’s are going doesn’t look like we’ll get pen this season, but by the looks of it we don’t need any pens.


i would say in this order of preference: arteta -> podolski -> ozil -> giroud -> ramsey ( 😀 )

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

I disagree. As we are always going to have to score 3 or 4 before we get a penalty I think we should give all the penalties to Chesney. Everybody else is going to get a hatful of goals this season anyway. Let’s have a record goalscoring goalkeeper at Arsenal too. He’s had plenty of practice from his side of the penalty area. I think it’s only fair we let him have a go from the other side now and then.


Özil does take them for Germany, but I think it should probably be Giroud. Firstly, he’s very good at them – he took them with great success for Montpellier and took an excellent one against Fenerbahce. Secondly, as long as they’re not awful at them, strikers should always take penalties – confidence is crucial to strikers, and goals boost confidence.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Yeah, OK, but if a team scores against Chesney he gets really upset and we don’t want that. They’ll have to do a deal. Giroud gets all the penalties if we haven’t let any goals in, but Chesney gets them if the opposition has scored against him. That way Chesney will practice really hard at taking them so that he can get payback – confidence is crucial to goalkeepers, and goalkeepers who cancel out the goals that get scored against them are really really confident goalkeepers. I can just hear him now “Theo, get up there and get fouled. I… Read more »

Edu's fake passport

we have become a one man team, always looking for Ramsey to “bale” us out 😉

Edu's fake passport

RIP sarcasm. Died in the Arsenal forum and not for the first time.

Dick Swiveller

I think the phrase ‘one man team’ brings up rather raw memories of being called one right before losing him last season.

I almost laughed though.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

I noticed the actual Brokeback Bale was up to his old tricks last night, getting a penalty by throwing himself to the ground. One of these dives he’s going to pop that dodgy disc right out and spend the rest of his days in a wheelchair. Somebody should warn him about the dangers of diving with a dodgy spine. Anybody here speak chimpanzee ?

Arsene nose

Ramsey for President!!


Rambo should have gotten atleast a 9 for his better-than-Messi’s tricky dissecting of the Norwich defence before his goal.

jack jack jack

He’s become king of the Zidane slow-motion skill. It’s all about guile, nuance of movement, knowing when the players are off balance and committing themselves, minimalistic elegance.

What makes Messi’s dribbling so great is the pure speed of his control and ability to change direction. It’s like watching someone in fast forward.

Parisian Weetabix

Lovely summing up there. There’s always some unexpected delight in the arseblog comments section 😉


All the boys deserved a 10/10 for picking up where they’d left off after the Interlull.

Arsenal-induced Heart Attack Survivor

No, in the West Brom game we looked jaded, out of novel ideas. My point being, we’ve picked up after the opening 20 minutes of the Napoli game.


What!? 10 for Wilshere’s goal? That was more beautiful than Michelle her self, 11, Blogs out! Nah just kidding, love you Blogs!:-)


The goal was indeed more beautiful than an 11 year old Michelle Pfeiffer.


Commentator “Arsenal have one clear message.Were ready to fight for the title.Too much class too much swagger and a real sparkle about them”. Epic


No one in the prem has swagger like us

Trex d Gunner

The comment on Flamini is brilliant & realy hilarious.


Ramsey’s double dragback and backheeled pass was the best thing I’ve seen since John Terry was kicked into orbit by Diaby.

Black Hei

JT might be some character but that boot from Diaby, Terry actually passed out and almost choked on his own tongue.
Have some perspective, even when joking.



Parisian Weetabix

#wenger #rout


Wonderful goals , quality. I thought Ozil 1st will be the talking points as he rarely score a header but the other 3 fade it. Fantastic


Robin van Persie, what’s that child inside you screaming for now? Top of the table!


He probably thinks, GOSH I wish I had Ozil, Cazorla, ramsey. Rosicky, Wilshere providing me passes.


He probably wishes Moyes wouldn’t make him run until he pukes every day. That’s what you get for going to bed with red whiskey nose.


Karma is a kick in the bollocks as usual

Wengers spare change

more than likely more money


OKay, what can i say, i love you ArSEnaL


I can’t remember a goal as nice as our first & being 8 points clear of that cock boil van Persie is also quite nice


Its all nice.


Flamini walking around while in comatose state. DAMMM, we need this guy!!! we were literally messed up when he was subbed.

LOL gottal LOVE Flamini. Our Tank, Our Vanguard, Our Gung Ho Spirit – nothing scares this man. I would love to see him getting away with a Yellow card when he broke Van Cunt toes in the coming games. COYG!

B23 – TGSTEL fulfilling his destiny. Brigh it on Nicklas. We still Love You!


In the last 15 minutes Rambo was immense and at a time when we needed someone to step up and take control after the Norwich goal. On get whole a great team performance. Long may it continue.

squillaci is king

Rambo’s goal was way better than Cashri’s against Fuham a few years ago


guys can you please tell me what shoe ramsey was wearing today and the colour?

Arsenal-induced Heart Attack Survivor

They’re called ‘shooting boots’, i gather. And he’s been wearing those from the start of the season.


i’m serious dude. what shoe was that? could you guys please tell me.

Dr Baptiste

They’re like leather football boots with added scoring ability. Cost a lot of bux in ‘new star soccer’


thought he wears blue nikes. and what are the top nike models? mercurial vapour or something like that. just search…

Mastered actor

They’re the new Adidas predators!


adidas blue coloured shoes with the trademark orange-coloured adidas stripes on the heels

Eric Irish gunner

Ramsey doesn’t even need a full game now to score, he’s does it from the bench

The ghost of Peter Storey

Super sub!

Tom Thumb

Wilshere goal=football porn


Just for the record, Climie is actually dead so you can’t ask him. I have no idea if Fisher is a twat though.


Uh… death?

Clock End Mike

Don’t think I’d have made the rating quite as level as that (all 7s and 8s). Cazorla and Arteta had some good moments, but they were mostly off the boil – 6/10 each at best. Rosicky — well, perhaps not an 8, but definitely a good 7.5/10. He revitialised our efforts when he came on. Gibbs – I didn’t think he put a foor wrong, either going forward or going back. You criticise his crossing, but when there was a red shirt in the box, he did his best to pick them out, and many of his crosses were well… Read more »


*stage whipsper*
shhhh shut up man!

*out loud*
Your talking shit mate! Baines is the best LB i England. “YOU HERE ME HODGSON. BAINES!!!”

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

If Rosicky revitalised our efforts when he came on then he improved the entire team. That’s worth a whole point you cheap bugger. 8/10

By the same reckoning, we fell away so much after he went off that Flamini must have been playing an 8/10 and we just didn’t realise it at the time.

Cazorla made a very good effort considering he isn’t match fit, and he was involved in some great moments. 7/10 is fair.

Arteta maybe 6/10 as I saw him miss-hit a pass and was quite shocked, but his hair gets another 10/10.


Ozil is a god…insult to call him a mere wizard. Its “godzil” for now on. His jersey will be hung on my door and i’ll make my lil cousins pray to him every morning before school.


Mr Blogs, is this the highest average ratings (including the bench) you’ve ever given?

Si in Galway

At one point in the second half Gibbsey was making at full speed arcing run with the ball into the Norwich box and he looked like the close of Poldi. Which made me realise, we’ve got Poldi to come back, into THIS team.

And Theo! Fuck me, I know I say we’ll win it every season, but this season, we really could win it!


4-1.3 Points. Happy Saturday. Hopes the cunts lose tomorrow.


Pure class! This team has scary prospects.
Bring on the EPL big boys already! Evra: men against boys 😀


Oh I remember how much that comment hurt, mainly because it was true. Payback time.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

This time: Men (and Cunt) against Supermen.


i think this is the first time i’ve seen TGSTEL playing alongside rosicky!

Rectum Spectrum

These were the best player rating comments i’ve read. proper loling here. even read them out to the missus and she laughed too. she’s pregnant by the way, just found out this week. may due date. i’m thinking Aaron. There is no way i’m even trying santi or mesut, sorry…..


Well in son!!! ummm… I mean… CONGRATULATIONS!!!


Watching replays of Wilshere’s goal… I’m just… the emotions… WTF is going on man!?!!?

I need a hug.

Tommy Gun

Dont know how Rambo has improved further. He seems to have another ‘extra yard of pace’ and seems strong, not only on the ball but in the tackle. Brilliant to see.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

He’s got moves that are so good they can’t get a tackle on him sometimes. See him dance away from them in that clip? Magic.

Tommy Gun

Rambo’s recovery is Arsenal’s situation in a nutshell. Spent a long time clawing back from the unavoidable dip and looking a class apart having found some confidence. Come on Abou your next

Arsene McCloud

Jack minus a point, Rosisky add a point.
Otherwise no complaints.

Roger Clarke

Worth staying up til 3am to see that performance. Just a joy to watch this team. And all the Sydney Reds are crying themselves to sleep. Hope Flamini recovers quickly, we really need his presence as often as possible. Bonus was Nick playing a good team role. Giroud’s assists were top class too. Imagine how good we’ll be once everyone is actually fit! COYG.

Ping pong 4 Frimpong

Flamini comments had me in stitches



Cazorla and Arteta seems a bit off indeed, but it’s still in acceptable level.
Everything else described by my first word.


And they are two of the three players yesterday still getting back up to speed after Injury (Bac being the third)


I kinda hope Bendtner stays put. He is still young and has a lot of potential and have grown up as it seems. Not thinking about himself alot. And also the first goal gave me teargasms

Zaharaddeen Getso

Real lost a genius german and brought the wrong welshman

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

No, they lost a genius German and they bought the right Welshman. The one they deserved, Brokeback Bale. God forbid they had bought ours. He’d have been wasted in that team of diving cloggers.

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