Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Gunners set to sign US star McCringleberry

Arsenal are set to sign MLS midfielder Hingle McCringleberry.

The Carolina Rhinos man has caught the eye of many European clubs with his hard-running performances and after intense scouting by the club’s North American team an approach has been made.

EPSN MEXICO report the player’s agent, Ibrahim Moizoos, saying, “We spoke with Arsenal last week and the offer they made is just something we can’t turn turn down.

“We had always planned a move to Europe at some point, perhaps not this early in his career, but now that we have this opportunity we’d be crazy not to take it up.”

It reverses the flow of players going from East to West, with Jermaine Defoe a high profile capture by the Toronto Tapirs. The Sp*rs man will leave the Premier League in February to continue his career in the land best known for its cowboy junkies.

It remains to be seen how quickly Arsene Wenger might incorporate the 19 year old into the first team squad, but a period of acclimatisation is likely as other MLS signings like Brek Shea at Stoke and Sequester Grundelplith M.D at Fulham have struggled to make an impact.

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Craig

Still more believable than anything indykaila and OpinionDan writes on Twitter

Wukong

Yes! I knew we would sign him

Bishop

He will be a good buy, but I was instead hoping we will sign the Comoros wonder kid Melembua Lakiyala who has been linked with us since he was 12 and playing for Dar Es Salam Roaring Lions. He has been the revelation of the season in the Seychelles premier league. 😉

Jackio

*Tanzania premier league

Heroldgoon

When sp*rs let Defoe go and keep Adebaywhore instead then you know they can’t be saved….

damien joyce

how da hell did they manage to get 8m for that old goal hanging overrated little scrag??

MacedonianGooner

I told you already about that name! You’re not being fair to the honest whores!

Wenger's Fat Wallet

Can we get Defoe? Pretty sure a bench striker to come in and score substitute goals is exactly what we need.

archit

his videos on youtube are really very encouraging..good talent..has a way with refrees though..!! 😉

brit

He is a monster on FM too

mike

fully behind this signing. reliably informed he too hates Na$ri, as he should.

mastaofthegoonaverse

Enjoyed seeing him kicked today

CountLeaf

finally some real reinforcements!

GooneRon

Is Aron Ramsey the A.A.RON in that substitute teacher skit but all grown up? Just wondering

kels

Crap!

Jimmy the Saint

Key and Peele have a whole squad we could sign!

sggunner

anyone finds his downward moustache thingy disturbing :/

Sujan

I dont trust Americans

He's gotta hit the target from there (for me)

To be fair, they probably don’t trust you either.

BillyBatts

Give it 5 minutes for this to appear as an ‘EXCLUSIVE’ on Mail Sport.

No More Sprouts

I don’t think so because no one gives a toss do they ?

Burak

Wooosh

Wolfgang

Arsenal are overloaded with md players. Wenger shd go for a central defender or striker.

Giroud Awakening

Not sure what’s worse, this article or the people that believe it..

Sajit

Must say i wasted 5 minutes Googling before it dawned…

The Gundertaker
GooneRon

Definitely Wagnar Out!!!

Burak

The comments are now officially the funniest part of this article. That isn’t to say the article is bad, but the comments in which people give away that they don’t get the joke are hilarious.

lemon

top, top quality

Ping pong 4 Frimpong

Welcome to Arsenal McCringleberry!

mastaofthegoonaverse

It will be dench

Jamie 85

If Wenger thinks some kid from MLS is gonna make us champions he can fuck off now

Heroldgoon

Woah! woah! did u hit your head?

thatleftfootedprince

Atleast check him out on youtube,Quality signing,If there is anyone who can teach him to tackle with is feet,instead of his hands and body ,its le prof,WE HIT THE GOLD HERE GUYS! 😉

Nigerian_Gooner

He’s better than Kalou.

Neil

Typical unknowledgable Arsenal fan

Arsene's Jacket

1- it’s a joke article
2- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gODZzSOelss
3- MLS isn’t that bad
4- HINGLE MCCRINGLEBERRY ISNT REAL

mastaofthegoonaverse

What about Father Christmas?

He's gotta hit the target from there (for me)

I think it’s disturbing that somebody thought that a name like ‘Hingle McCringleberry’ was plausible. Try that with commentary; ‘It’s, yes, it ca’t be, it is, it’s Hingle McCringleberry to win it!’.

There are lots of people named that in the states. Both my wife and mother have that name.

I’m McCringleberry and so’s my wife

indiangooner

40,000,001..??
top top snatch by wenger.

RedCurrant

Well, if this is true we’ve just bought ourselves the title.

(Hurrah)

Harish P

On few occasions I miss the joke at Arseblog and get confused when it’s serious or not.

Gladly I know I’m ITK this time (God bless twitter), this kid should turn out an awesome player for us!

Trev the hammer

This is the last time I ever visit this site. Get a life you fucking moron cunts because this is not funny at all.

rochester

Trevor,
you’ll be sorely missed. you know, like the way an idiot misses the point

warisz00r

Huzzah!

WizardOfOzil

Who’d have thought it’d be a West Ham fan most upset?

Arsepedant

I’m sure Trevor will enjoy that West Ham have just signed Eeeee Eeeeeeeee. Relegation saviour, that one.

Michael

With his name i genuinly thought this was another arseblog joke.

d7g7

If it’s a joke I don’t get it.

VeryXerioz

Life is too short not to understand jokes…. Juz laugh along mate

Arsene's Jacket
VeryXerioz

Great signing!!! I heard he is TGMFEL. We are definitely winning a treble this year. COYG!!!

Brese

You didn’t make mention of the partnership that was hence struck between Arsenal &Carolina Rhinos who have been known to produce top “soccer” talents over the years.

Pakistan Arsenal!

Does he look like a basketball player tk someone else? And I don’t think we need ANOTHER young striker. We already have apkom, campbell and sanogo. We need an experienced player.

VeryXerioz

Arseblog said he is a midfielder not a striker

sggunner

EEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

MTZ

We should sign the guy with the construction sound in his name. He’s awesome.

Ymylei

Have get him out of prison first.

“Arsenal announces partnership with major law firm to free top footballing talents from their confinements. Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger stated on the subject, ‘Now you understand why I say it is difficult finding top top talent in the market and players we want are unavailable, we need to work hard so we can build a squad that will compete at the top for years to come.'”

Arsepedant

That might work. After all, the Detroit Tigers signed Ron Leflore out of a prison league and he had a fine major league career. Let’s get some scouts into Pentonville and Wormwood Scrubs.

pauly bear

Not sure if this is a joke ??

Woody

As a charlotte gooner it is good to see the squad appreciating the raw talent available in the suburbs of North America. Vai tomar no cu! Hahah great article

ghanagunner

so you are in charlotte (USA). and you don’t know the face? Do you watch comedy centrals Key & Peele. famous for Obama & his anger translator luthor comedy impersonations.

Burak

I live in the US and can confirm they look alike (obviously so much that you just mixed them up). Don’t feel bad though, just enjoy the new signing. This lad is a top, top real actual person addition to our squad.

Exiledgooner

Don’t care how good he is as a player, it’s worth signing him for the name alone. I haven’t had a name on my shirt since I was a kid, but I may have to change that now. What a corker.

Exiledgooner

Incidentally, I don’t care if he isn’t a footballer. I’m still getting his name on a shirt. Just awesome.

Andy Mac

McCringleberry could have a great career at Arsenal, but do we need another Midfield player? Why won’t Arsene invest in the career of a young gifted Central Defender, this position is seriously lacking personnel. A decent world class, established Centre Back is what is needed, not more Midfield players.

haters gunner hate

not sure if troll, or idiot

Witoldo

Can’t it be both?

nicc

I admit, I first glanced at my calendar; nope, it’s not April 1.

does he even have any under 18/19/20/ international caps?
the likelihood of him gaining a UK work permit is absolutely nil for at least the next 3+ years…

ghanagunner

That will be great. we need KEY & PEELE on our team

Ash

Maybe, I’m being thick, but is this a joke – he is an American Football player..

Swish

You’re not thick, he is indeed an American Football player…. well spotted!

K&P is just a cover up…

steve brown

While we at it,why dont we sign Hanker McWanker.

Mr d

what is our great club doing in order to see our striking force is well reenforce?

Mario Moreno

I was really hoping we’d sign his teammate L’Carpetron Dookmarriot. Calming presence in the central defence. Still, McCringleberry will give us speed upfront with Walcott out.

Arsene's Jacket

IDK, have you seen Javarius-Jamar Javarinson-Lamar play? His youtube videos showed me how good he is.

Bendtners Dad

“We had always planned a move to Europe at some point”, WE, agents = fucking leeches.

Groverider

Absofeckinlutely hilarious. I do love you so blogs. To be honest some of the comments are even funnier though. I mean how dumb are some people? 🙂

Ayonike

Hingle McCringleberry?
Is that his real name?
Anyway, shouldn’t Wenger be looking for strokers, not more midfielders?

Jagger

Steve Brown’s scouted the perfect stroker. See his comment.

mastaofthegoonaverse

Strokers are always needed. Do love a nice stroker. Arsenal ladies apparently have some top quality strokers.

Rumour Mill

YOU SIGNED BALE, WE SIGNED McCRIN-GLE-BERRY… CRIN-GLE-BERRY…

Goz

Haha class!

Bacstreet Bac Alright

Can’t believe some of the comments believing this, this is hilarious

Ayonike

Hingle McCringleberry?
Is that his real name?
Anyway, shouldn’t Wenger be looking for strikers, not more midfielders?

Cee_jay

Look I know he’s talented and all, but imagine what Saggitariutt Jefferspin could do with a dead ball. I feel Arsene’s missed a trick here…

TommyGun

Think we should sign his rival D’Glester Hardunkachud, on the same team we’d be unbeatable

Kevlarbe

:O fbhfbvbhfbvhfbvhbvbfvhfdb yeaaaa roooooy

Chamakh

Oh dear, nice work blogs we have some gullible fans alright

Jambo

Is that Bobby Zamora?

rossi88

Pretty funny

milesfromnowhere

Oh right. I see. I get it. You were lampooning me. It was a simple lampoon.

WizardOfOzil

He just does not give one solitary shit..

Chris

I have hear Bobby Bottleservice is out of contract.

wengerbot

But Jeffrey Bumshingle is available, get him instead. Just think Giroud plays a couple of nice balls into Bumshingle, definite score. Well done blogs , class…from a fellow Dublin gooner living in the states.

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