Friday, December 8, 2023

Wenger: AWOL Bendtner on BFG’s hit list

Arsene Wenger has confirmed that Nicklas Bendtner will be depositing a hefty sum of cash into Per Mertesacker’s fine jar after the striker undertook an unsolicited midweek jaunt to Copenhagen.

Reports in the local press claim the 26-year-old striker indulged in a heavy drinking session in the Danish capital before attempting some light vehicle-inspired frottage while threatening to whip ‘a fat little pig’ of a taxi driver with his belt.

The story is ridiculous even by Bendtner’s standards, but unfortunately apparently based in truth.

Having returned to England after the first team’s outing in Munich it’s fair to say Wenger is not impressed by a player who he has stopped selecting in recent weeks ahead of a summer exit.

“Honestly, I don’t know what happened [in Copenhagen],” Wenger told press this morning.

“I haven’t spoken to him [Bendtner]. The only thing that is for sure, he had nothing to do in Copenhagen. Nobody gave him any permission to go to Copenhagen.

“He will be fined for that. For the rest, has he created some trouble? I don’t know. I will speak to him today.”

It’s unlikely that Bendtner will be included in any Wenger squads in the near future with Yaya Sanogo obviously a preferred candidate to back-up Olivier Giroud.


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What a dolt. Seriously, I thought he was on the path to redemption. Clearly and sadly not. Come on Nick!


To be fair to the bloke…

At least he’s consistent, every season there is always more then one ‘off the field incident’ involving him on a boozy night out.

Just cant handle the sauce.

Don Cazorleone

what a quim-chin

Yankee Gooner

Fair play to TGSTEL–he consistently fucks up everything he’s involved in, so I don’t see why he’d miss an opportunity with his taxi.


Nicklas Bendtner – He does what he wants.


Anytime you can include the word “frottage” in an article I know it’s going to be a good day.


The Lord was simply blessing the taxi with his junk and whipping the demons always with this belt. Jokes aside, I really thought he could do a job for after his heroics against Cardiff but Bendtner will always be Bendtner.

Don Cazorleone

the sad thing is he is ruining his own chances of getting a contract anywhere. he should be playing out of his skin right now, fighting for first team action, aiming for the world cup and then onto a new team next season. what a waster


Only thing though, Denmark are not in the world cup. But I do get your argument.


As soon as he got that copy of the Car-ma Sutra for Christmas, this was always going to happen.

Donut Maestro

If Nik doesn’t find a new team at the end of the season, the ‘karma’ bit will also come true.


‘Car-ma Supra’?

igor stepanovs

truly awful. and yet i still clicked thumbs up…


No one should feel sorry for NB I hope his career dwindles and he becomes that hobo from denmark whoz always hanging around at Drayton park. Waste of talent like this just because he is getting enough money to more than get by pisses me off. Twat!

Don Cazorleone





I’d say that’s a paddlin’ but it’s getting to the point where I think he’d enjoy that

Ivan Drago

He was never going to be as great a striker as he thinks he is, but he could’ve been very good if he sorted himself out. Shame to see a waste of such talent.

The big thing for him now is what club will take a chance on him in the summer since he seems unwilling to change his boozey ways?


I’ve been saying for years that he would never be Arsenal quality… we should have sold him a long time ago


to who?

Clock End Mike

Be fair, we did try, fo a number of seasons… until the last day of last summer’s transfer window.

Put him on eBay. Highest bidder gets him?


I bid 5 cents. Erm, pence. Whichever. He’s relatively cute and some time with my dad’s old army buddies might straighten him out. Although if the threat of having to face BFG to pay his fines isn’t enough, maybe not .

Actually, his screwing up may be strategic. If we can’t get rid of him while he’s under contract any other way than to sell him, and as long he acts like this, nobody will buy him, he gets to stay at a top club and rarely have to work.


No, he doesn’t. He’s not going to be offered a new contract.

I’m very disappointed in him. I thought he’d turned a corner this year and grown up a bit, and heplayed pretty well the few chances he got. But he’s right fucking thrown that away now. He’ll never wear the jersey again.

What team in its right mind will sign him now?


Sorry, I don’t remember when his contract is up. If it’s this summer then, correct, I’m sure we won’t renew it. Then, once he’s burned through whatever savings he was smart enough to…save, he can live off his Countess…rather sad that he’ll probably never work in this industry again, but he did it to himself.

Mike berry


Saffa Gooner

What an idiot! I have a soft spot for the most deluded striker that ever lived and thought he would really shape up with a golden egg of a second chance. FFS this is the Arsenal shirt we’re talking about here, the chance to wear it for Arsenal against sp*rs, playing with Santi, Ozil, BFG, Kos etc holy shit! Study games, train hard, play, chat with Wenger…he’s ruining the dream we would love to live.


Lord B is such a stupid man. And he clearly has alcohol problems.


This man doesn’t deserve respect from wenger, or any of his teamates. So many chances given yet he continues to behave like a spoilt brat. He’s embarrassing himself and us. If he wants to self destruct that’s fine. Unfortunately though, that means taking a loss when moving him on..

alex shellim

I have a question… can we just sack this moron and save the 50k a week we’re paying him ’til the summer? Is that an option. I mean, we have Park who can step into the backup’s backup position, he doesn’t have a history of going AWOL, so we should be fine. Right?


Forget about footballers. Bendtner is giving hipsters a bad name


Should have let him go when Palace came in on deadline day. Wenger said no, he’s reaping what he sowed.


He’s like a blonde Balotelli with less talent


I prefer Nick to Suares any day


I’ve done worse.

Christopher Bro

good on him.

Micklas Reuben

For me this is a player whose usefulness is long gone. So he will do more harm than good to arsenal.

Dial Square

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 27 times, damn I’m stupid.


Perhaps he was just showing his Paddy Power undies?


This boy born in scandal not offside.

Roland C Rozario

The stupidity, and yet arrogant NB still thinks he is the epitome of the Great Arsenal front man!
He hasn’t changed!
He is Arsenals ‘bad debt writeoff from their books’

qld reds

fuck off bendtner. he should have been gone years ago. it’s embarrasing now. doesn’t play, doesn’t follow rules. waste of space.


Humpin a taxi? Oh you better believe that’s a paddlin’.

Charleston Gooner

I had sex with myself on an elevator last night, top that you hipster come samurai! Have to say, smacking a taxi with the old pork sword is pretty fucking hilarious though (no homo)!


All nick had to do was keep his nose clean, show some effort if called in to the 1st team and put himself in the shop window for a summer move, and then he goes and does this


Ha front man. You mean a man with front dont you.

Dr. Phil

In all seriousness, can we not just sack this guy already?!

Momo (@MuhamLAD)

Personally find this shit hilarious, he’s not really our problem anymore, I don’t see him getting much game time in the final couple of months.

Just gonna sit back and giggle.

Ivan Godhatezus

It’s a shame we weren’t able to get any money from this epic douche-bag.


Wouldn’t be out of place in the squad of the late 80’s and 90’s! He’s a plonked, but enjoying his life, seems he’s finally realised he isn’t maradonna!

Rocky Rocastle

He was born to late. He is a footballer from another time. 20 years ago he would fit right in. Hehe

He could have become really good if he had Applied himself and went for it. But it was not to be.

Hilarious story though. Wish i we’re there to witness it. 😀

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