Alexis may not play a game of football


Having limped off the pitch towards the end of the 3-0 stuffing of Man United which made Michael Carrick disappointed, it seems that Alexis Sanchez may miss Chile’s World Cup qualifier against Brazil this week.

Normally we envisage Alexis playing whatever the problem, throwing his crutches aside to nutmeg David Luiz and score a winner, but it seems like he might actually be hurt.

Speaking to the press ahead of Thursday’s clash with Brazil, manager Jorge Sampaoli said, “Neither Vidal nor Alexis are confirmed for the Brazil game. Neither player has been in full training since travelling to join the Chile squad this week.”

This seems bad to us. Alexis not playing a game of football that he could play in? It simply doesn’t make any sense.

Of course it’s early, and he could still go out like that Monty Python sketch, his very groin shorn from his body.

“Just a flesh wound!”, he say.

We’re worried slightly.

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Rambo's Thai retreat

I can hear one massive fucking bell ringing…

Mesut Ohno

6 week injury which turns into 6 months …. gulp


Sorry but If he had the slightest chance of being injured or the clubs medics had any concern….why the fuck have we let him travel?!?! We pay his wages and out title prospects could suffer because of this.

Honestly….please someone give me a good reason.

Danger Mouse

Pardon my selfishness but I’d be more than happy for him to miss Chile’s games and arrive back safe and sound and raring to go for us.

Kolo Toure Ballsack

Hey, I accidentally down voted your comment. Totally agree, it’s not like Chile aren’t gonna qualify for the World Cup, and Alexis could use a rest. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing for their players anyway if the unlikely happened they didn’t qualify considering they played the 2014 World Cup, 2015 Copa America and will play the 2016 Copa America, (probably) 2017 Confed Cup and the 2018 World Cup.


2016 Copa America?? You have got to be kidding me?!

Kolo Toure Ballsack

Not kidding. They’re having another Copa America this coming summer because it’s the centenary



Rip Van's Winkel

I think that’s what he’s trying to do.
Give the poor fella some prunes, pronto!

Little Mozart

He’ll be fine. Just keeping saying “he’ll be fine” and it will be true.


he’ll be fine.


Fuckin hell that headline nearly killed me! calm down Arseblog.

Wenger in and out

Just yelled “what da fuck” and I’m at work. If I get fired Arseblog this is on you.
Anyway Hope Alexis gets well soon


Anyone else think Sampaoli might make for a decent coach at arsenal? No experience of Europe but I like his style of play.


Well then… had the exact the same thought prior to clicking on this article. He had a tremendous World Cup campaign, and winning Chile their first ever Copa America* shouldn’t be underestimated. And despite the worrying murmurs (nothing confirmed yet thank fuck) coming from Sampaoli, he’s never been a dick towards Arsenal.

*Alexis Greatness Reminder: Misses penalty in shoot-out exit against Brazil in the World Cup, 12 months later finds the stones to convert a Copa-America winning pen against Argentina. Quite the physical specimen (ahem).


I quite like that guy, oh, what’s his name…….? Oh, that’s it, Arsene Wenger.


I want Klopp. While it looks like he’ll go to Liverpool for three years he won’t be able to do good much there. Meanwhile Wenger signs a new 3 year contract and at the end of that he calls time and Klopp slides over from his ailing Liverpool. While there he will have learned to carry a lesser team with delusions of grandeur based on achievements 30 years back. Training monkies with peanuts, if you like. He’ll be further hardened by the usual treatment from the cunty UK media. It’ll be the storm of steel to harden him that extra… Read more »


Only a Liverpool fan would thumb down such a prosperous future for our club. 3 so far, more to come. Maybe.


11 Liverpool fans! 🙂

Woolwich Peripatetic

I haven’t thumbed you down but find your Klopp-fetish rather worrying.


Why is Gervinho in the background sharpening his missing the target skills?


Why would he need to practice? he is the sanchez of missingness/missingnocity

Daft Aider

I was expecting some revelation that he thought he was playing another sport
and no one else had ever got around to telling him…………

Chris B

Put your feet up, Alexis. You’ve earned it mate.


He’d put his feet up and then do hand-stand pressups.

The Falcon

He’s travelled there and not been sent home, how bad can he be? I’m assuming he must at least be doing shuttle runs on the beach, right?!

Getso gunner

I hope they leave him out of all the two games


If they leave him out of the matches, I hope he also does the driving if he and vidal head out pal around.


If he was missing his groin would he still be a physical specimen?


great news!!! Does anyone doubt that Mou gave Ramires and Oscar explicit instructions to affect Arsenal’s season in this WC qualifier the same way he sent Costa to get into Gabriel’s head?!


Give Wenger some credit Alexis for 35m quid. Media logic would have you that martial at 36m was money well spent Never mind Walcott for 15m. Again Wenger did back him for the CF role and like Henry, he is defying conventional expectations Or Ozil for 42.2m. Media logic would have you that de Bruyne for 55m was money well spent Or Coquelin. Again the gaffer backed him when no one even thought he’d be part of the plans last season Or Gabriel. And they say Wenger doesn’t buy defenders. Who is Danny Blind? A Cback? Are we the only… Read more »


spot on Santori.

Wenger's smaller lesser used coat

I’m sorry this has absolutely nothing to do with this story but I just broke my hole laughing at a bit of old news that I was not aware of and everyone on this ball that we call planet earth should be told this story. Apparently after we had beaten the orcs of stoke a few years ago tony pulis was so enraged that he launched himself (fully bollock naked) at lumbering striker James Beattie and flaggerated him with a headbutt. How did I never hear this? Why did noone ever tell me? This is literally the funniest thing that… Read more »


Not funny; unless of course if he had just is cap on.


Have you EVER heard of him not having his cap on? That’s right. Didn’t think so. It’s well known that he sleeps in it and has sex in it. He won’t even remove it when he showers with the players after the game.


A niggle that earns him some rest during interlull. He comes back fit and rested. Scores like a motherfucker, runs every opponent ragged and then scores some more.

I hope!

An Ox-sized Coq

He won’t mind missing out on Brazil as much as he would the Peru match. Peru and Chile hate each other more than Spuds and The Arsenal.


As a Peruvian Gunner I can confirm this is true and that we’re hoping he is just unfit enough to miss that match and yet good to go for Watford.

proud gunner

Comment: so there is hatred worst than that of hating sp**s?


My hatred of Chelsea by far outweighs my hatred of Sp*rs. I actually don’t hate them at all. They are more like a simple younger brother who you and your mates will feed snails, bogies and dirt for giggles while every now and then he fails badly when trying to rise above his station. Chelsea is the fat bully a few houses down. He has all the cool new toys, a faster bike and a big tree house his rich daddy built for him to buy his friends with. He’s somehow managed to become really popular in spite of being… Read more »


Totally agree & spot-on analogies. If it weren’t for geography we probably wouldn’t give Sp*rs a 2nd thought. Chelsea just dares us to hate them.


I think feeding dirt and bogies to someone is a bit bullyish? …just saying! (don’t hit me)


You are right, it’s not nice but at least we’re not Chelsea.


I find myself hating all premiership opponents…:-)


I thought the hatred was between Chile and Argentina?


Chile has three neighbours. All three hate them. Historically and politically Chile is not a nice neighbour. However on a personal level Chileans are good people. I always explain it like saying you can hate the US and what they stand for in their foreign policy and social conservatism but an individual person from the US is usually a quite nice (if loud) person.


Alexis missing Brazil’s match?! I’m worried


PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE be only a niggle … In the event he is injured, all forbid, it is a prime opportunity for a Coq-like stepping the fuck up by ______________. Just saying.


…so long as he steps in for US fit, he can miss as many games as deems fit for THEM

proud gunner

Comment: US? but alexis can still play till 40! he aint old enough for mls yet


Is Alexis the son of Darth Veider? He has the power alright.

proud gunner

Comment: US? but alexis can still play till 40! he aint old enough for mls yet


all forbid indeed… just be fit for our next game, nothing matters more. A little selfish?
Yeah I know.

The 49ners

For every match he misses..he’ll play 55 at a stretch


I thought diamonds were virtually impervious to damage


Alexis is more than a diamond,he’s a mutant!


Alexis stars for Chile


He played, and scored…


False… Played and scored, Half-Man; Half-Machine


He played, he ran circles, he drobbled, he scored. He won.
This man is amazing.
This man is injured, but played like a beast.


Everyone should drobble like Sanchez.


We are so blessed to av him