Sunday, December 4, 2022

Ozil wins PFA Player of the Month award

Mesut Ozil’s fine displays in December has seen him awarded the PFA Player of the Month gong.

The German was in scintillating form during the month, with some pretty impressive stats. He racked up:

  • 5 assists
  • 1 goal
  • 23 chances created
  • 14 key passes
  • 15 ball recoveries
  • 8 wonder-shimmies
  • 3 how-do-you-dos
  • 1 Gelsenkirchen gaggler
  • 2 Shatner’s bassoons
  • 1 oopsy-daisy
  • 2 Wizard delights

It’s the second month running that he’s won the award, picking it up in November also due to the high quality of his performances.

Ozil was also voted German of the Year by the readers of ‘Ist Nicht Vorhanden‘ magazine, the influential publication saying, “He is like a hummingbird that has learned how to sing instead of hum, and the song he serenades us with is a thing of beauty – like seeing a pack of lions devour a baby zebra before resting majestically in the sunset of the Serengeti.

‘Truly, he blesses all of our rains.’

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Half the votes were from Flamini




I know he’s already won but I reckon the jury’s still out.


he’s nicking a player of the month gong, next he will probably con the pl out of a player of the year title the lazy, unambitious nicker.

craftily setting assist records along the way to blind us from his ineffectiveness


And Arsene has put it correctly


That man is world class. He’s truly a blessing to have on the team.

Phil C

Wasn’t Vardy PFA Player of the Month for November?
Of course it depends whether it is PFA Players Player or PFA Fans Player or PFA Writers Player or PFA Arseblog player of the month or whatever.
Which one did he win again?

Gooner Smurf

Continues to nick a livin’

Mate Kiddleton

I’m happy for him to continue nicking a living, being too lazy, and having the jury out on him for the rest of his career with us.


Poor baby zebra ;(

Gandalf the Gooner

The zebra is City or some other rival in this analogy. Death to the zebra.

Santi Clauzorla

I fully remember the Gelsenkirchen gaggler, what a day it was!

David C

I was more fond of the oopsy-daisy 🙂

Great name!

DE Gooner

Absolutely been sensational to watch! As a quick side, Blogs should have the poo meter all warmed up, it’s going to be worse than most years. Could it be set up as a daily poo forecast, with the readers able to vote, similar to Match Day ratings?


Wouldn’t doing that make it even worserer (not a word I know) but all the same…:-)


Too eazy for the doe-eyed German. Moreover he’s a likeable chap. Many more to come. Ozil is a gooner.

Jack know's

We’veeeee got Ozil!
Mesut Ozil
I just don’t think you understand
He’s Arsene Wengers man
He’s better than Zidane
We got Mesut Ozil

Naija Gunner


Naija Gunner

…and ‘baby zebra’ seriously blogs? Naaa Mofasa doesn’t do babies. You meant the Big Bad Stallion!


I’m trying to see the beauty in a pack of zebras eating up a baby zebra


Cabra is full of them


bloody cabra Zennibals coming in here eating our baby zebras…
the should f**k off back to stripey bastard land

Vladimir Petrovic.

Shatner’s Bassoons? Is that like a Cpt Kirk musical instrument on the Enterprise? A bit like Özil if so, out of this world.


Its harmonics are timeless


As Moses alludes to, Shatners Bassoon in part of the brain that deals with perception of time. Sensitive to drugs made up in prague.

Big Rob

I’ve listened to Blue Jam as well

AN other

I hope he wins the one for the year just before he picks up the PL trophy for Arsenal.

sixteen swans over ainola

You made me Google “Shatner’s Bassoons”.

One minute it’s swings, the next it’s a fucking roundabout I never saw coming.


ozil!!! All i can say is that i’m a huge fan. I pray that he dosen’t get injury, and with sanchez coming back the league is ours.


Knock on wood.

MrBrain + Ozil's vision

And Micheal Owen, Robbie Savage and David Moyes are the happiest of them all. They are now vindicated! Lazy pundits.

Cologne Gooner

What a great and well respected publication ‘Ist Nicht Vorhanden‘ is! Have been reading it for years…


The publication was “not available” when I tried to buy it! Classic “naughty Blogs” great post! 🙂


After another brilliant performance recently I posted that hes still a donkey, but id be happy to let him live in my gaff!!!
I got a rake of thumbs down……….”comment removed due to low ratings”

Come on people , Is my sarcasm radar that crap??


Don’t you mean the Thumbdowners “sarcasm radar”?
Anyway moving on…

Ramsey's spirit

I think what we all want to hear really are the views of Moyes and pundits, thats how you judge a player, not this merit nonsense pfft!

Lord Bendtner

Any news on Wellington Silva? Has he switched careers?


he sounds like the award for the runner up to the golden boot..

Third Plebeian



Our next Signing may well be Bronz Loafer


…and we’re continually linked with Tin Sandal.


Without a shadow of a doubt, our Wizard of Oz stands heads and shoulders above other players. We’re lucky he plays for us. Arsene knows.


‘Ist nicht vorhanden’ means ‘is not available’. Pretty sure that is not the name of the magazine but a problem report 🙂


. 1 defender collision

Unless already covered under

. 1 Oopsy daisy



I have to say that the Hummingbird stuff was the musing of a poet Blogs.

Ray from Norfolk, Virginia

You got the German publication wrong.
It is actually the Praktisch Nicht Vorhanden that likened Ozil to a hummingbird.
They also said (my translation) that “he dances like a butterfly and stings like a bee” before Retracting once tehy realized that a “bee” could only play for Barnet FC.


hey guys…i still cant believe we have him on our team…

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