Following the launch of Mathieu Flamini and Mesut Ozil’s ecologically sound skincare range, two former players have followed suit with a range of shaving gear that they believe will revolutionise stubble and beard management forever.
Mart Poom and Andrei Arshavin have to come together to create ‘ARSE‘, a nod to their time in North London, with a mission statement that sums up their vision for the company.
‘We’re tired of paying high prices for razor blades, so we set up a company to help you save money. We’re just two regular guys who don’t want seventeen quintuple edged blades with a lubricated strip made from the hooves of endangered African elephants.
‘We’re about product. We’re about closeness. We’re about smelling good. We are ARSE‘.
Here’s what the press release says about some of their products:
ArseShavin’: Shaving used to be a manly pursuit. One man, one blade, one face. We’re committed to bringing that back, with our classic cut-throat design, each one engraved with our logo in the blade. You don’t need more than one blade, that’s simply wasteful, and we ensure that the number of orphans who die mining our nickel is kept at an absolute minimum.
ArseWipes: Just in case there is some blood, our range of wipes will help you mop it up and we’re so committed to reusable technology that these disposable towels won’t break down for thousands and thousands of years. Not only that, if you try and burn them, they let off harmful, toxic fumes to let you know you should stop.
ArseGel: A super smooth shaving gel made from the bark of the Claparba Bush which is only found in the deepest recesses of the Brazilian rain forest. It’s harvested sustainably using indigenous tribes, thus creating jobs and the new superhighway we’re building straight from Rio to the fields in which it grows will make access so easy!
ArseBalm: The milky white jism that emerges when you pluck the head off a dandelion has long been known for its soothing properties, and when combined with the substance you get when you milk a Finnish otter, it ensures your face never gets itchy or blotchy after you shave.
ArseScent: When you’ve shaved close, wiped away the blood, and slapped on the balm, you’re ready to go out into the world, but you want to smell good. You want to smell of Arse, and you can do that with our exclusive fragrance. It’s like the musk of a thousand Spartan warriors combined with the sea air, a summer meadow, and the smell of onions frying on a matchday. It’s enchanting, it’s you, it’s us, it’s ARSE.
More details can be found on their official website.