Here’s the latest edition of our Arsenal transfer news round-ups, taking all the snippets of gossip and tittle-tattle and bringing them all together in one big cauldron of scuttlebutt.

Take it home, add some broth, a potato – you got a stew going baby!

Dan-Axel Zagadou

What a name. Not only does it make us think of Joey JoJo Jr Shabadoo, it scans perfectly with Black Lace’s Agadoo, ensuring he’d have the cheesiest chant in football history.

France Football say the Borussia Dortmund central defender is ‘on our shortlist’, but that we are aware of the difficulties of doing the deal.

We assume those difficulties are, you know, paying his transfer fee and convincing him to leave a Champions League club for the Europa League, but that’s up to Raul Sanllehi and his people to deal with.

We don’t have any strong feelings on this one, so a middling 6 on the Poo-o-Meter will suffice.

Florian Thauvin

You might remember him from such times as being quite crap at Newcastle, but the 26 year old Frenchman has enjoyed a much happier time back in France with Marseille. Last season he scored 9 goals and and provided 19 assists in all competitions, on top of a remarkable 17 goals and 26 assists the season before – and that has apparently put him on Unai Emery’s radar.

We’ve been linked with lots of wide players this summer, most of them young bar Yannick Carrasco whose problems in China mean we’ll probably steer well clear, so this is an interesting one.

With that kind of productivity he’d likely be pretty expensive, so let’s see if there’s anything to this.

On top of that, his profile picture on Transfermarkt makes him look like someone got Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Marouane Chamakh and squashed them into one.

Armando Izzo

The Torino centre-half was linked with us last week, and according to Italian transfer guru Di Marzio, both we and Everton are ‘ready to make’ €25m offers to the Italian club for his services.

In a similar fashion, I am ready to make a home made special shuttle, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.

Torino’s president, Urbana Cairo, insists the player is not for sale. Italians rarely move to England too, so this one seems well and truly sloppy.

Dani Ceballos

Spanish daily AS say that Arsenal would be willing to pay the minimum €50m that Real Madrid would accept for the midfielder.

Of course. We just need them to agree to an installment plan at 0% interest payable over the next hundred years.

The 22 year old is currently impressing at the European U21 championships, and wants to stay with the Spanish giants, but interestingly is open to a loan move for a season, which sounds much more like something we could do if we wanted to.

Nevertheless, for the €50m purchase option we go with the full 10 poos.

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Pedant
Pedant
11 months ago

Any Arsenal news out there?

C.B.
C.B.
11 months ago
Reply to  Pedant

What, something that might happen and make a difference to the club?

Naked Cygan
Naked Cygan
11 months ago
Reply to  C.B.

If we sell mustafi to spurs. They might get relegated. We can give them mustafi + 40 million, but he has to play every game for spurs.

C.B.
C.B.
11 months ago
Reply to  Naked Cygan

Good plan, it’ll be Arsenal news once it happens.

Paul Roberts
Paul Roberts
11 months ago
Reply to  Naked Cygan

We could give them Ozil as well to ensure bankruptcy on top of relegation? 🙂

Naked Cygan
Naked Cygan
11 months ago
Reply to  Pedant

Same poop, different day.

Okester
Okester
11 months ago

The Olivia Newton John classic “Xanadu” also works for Zagadou. I’m a little bias as she went to the same school as me (albeit +30 years earlier). Sign him up!!

Anonymarse
Anonymarse
11 months ago
Reply to  Okester

‘classic’?

YMARSE
YMARSE
11 months ago
Reply to  Anonymarse

Hells yea classic!

AussieGooner
AussieGooner
11 months ago

Things are looking up at least. Old Kronkshaft appears to have released 200m extra in transfer funds in a development I wasn’t expecting. I mean I assume that is the case as simply typing “Arsenal” in the Google search bar reveals we currently have bids out there totalling 245m. That’s not counting Eric Baily who I think we are going to be swapping Abua for. Nor Tierney who we are going to get, but the deal includes all the out of date Pringles we still have left over from last season, plus Mustafi, plus Smith-rose on loan for a season.… Read more »

Pakgooner
Pakgooner
11 months ago
Reply to  AussieGooner

Mustafi is the equivalent of an expired Pringle!

Twatsloch
Twatsloch
11 months ago
Reply to  AussieGooner

The Kronkscrouge coughs up – fame at last!

Devlin
Devlin
11 months ago

Lorain Thauvin has always been a talented player, but just like so many players out there, there are leagues, systems, playing styles and cultures that just can’t get the best out of you. In scouting players using stats, it’s hard to pick up on personality traits and the players maturity, so I still prefer our scouting to be primarily done in person. It would be better if they worked in conjunction with statsdna. I just fear that without a technical director during such an integral recruitment period for the club’s short to medium term future, we might mess things up… Read more »

Goontang
Goontang
11 months ago
Reply to  Devlin

To be fair, going to newcastle United and playing under steve McLaren is not going to get the best out of you in a season in which newcastle were relegated.

Pretty sure that Wjinaldum fella was there that season too. Both did well after relegation from that side. So wouldn’t say Thauvin couldnt cut it in the premier league. Just his team and coach were shithouse.

Faisal Narrage aka Mr. Project Youth 2.0
Faisal Narrage aka Mr. Project Youth 2.0
11 months ago
Reply to  Devlin

That’s exactly how it works. No one purchases based on scouting alone. There are just 2 models; there is the “Scout first, assess with data to confirm scouting or not” which is seemingly the model we use and an evolution from the general qualitative scouting approach of yesteryear. However there are some, like Dortmund and Liverpool who use the “Data first, use scouts to confirm/disregard the data”, which imo I think is a better way of doing things, as it opens you to a much wider opportunity of players that one would not have gone to sit down and scout/watch… Read more »

Futsboller
Futsboller
11 months ago
Reply to  Devlin

Devlin, transfers and backroom business aside, do you see us establishing a recognizable style of play this coming season (based on Emery’s first season)? I think we saw glimpses of Emery’s protagonist football at the beginning of last season, but it dissipated completely by midseason. We ran a lot more than we have in the past, but it didn’t bring us much improvement in the grand scheme of things. I worry that Emery hasn’t done enough in his first season to enable a real step forward in the second, one that would see a more coherent football team and style… Read more »

Mpls
Mpls
11 months ago
Reply to  Futsboller

The latter might be a result of just not having the player mix needed for what Emery wants to do. I hardly think he came in wanting to play a 3-man back line.

If this Tierney thing is any indication, back 4 is the goal. We just didn’t have the mugs to fill the cabinet. Especially without Hector and Holding, Nacho in the Autumn of his career, and Kolasinac not quite fitting the bill as a complete fullback.

Futsboller
Futsboller
11 months ago
Reply to  Mpls

It could be, but I think Devlin’s point, which is a good one, is that there should be a recognizable style to the way we play, which the coach ultimately imprints on the team regardless of the personnel, and we didn’t see enough of it last year. Hopefully things improve this coming season.

Devlin
Devlin
11 months ago
Reply to  Futsboller

I was wondering which way Emery would go with his first season in charge. He could have gone with one of two ways, but ended up getting his priorities mixed up because of performances, league position in the last two months of the season, Europa league commitments and contract issues. 1. He tried to create a style of play that we could build on from this season onto the next, where he would see who fits into the style, the weaknesses of that style with regards to the league and building a trust form the fans and management about his… Read more »

Devlin
Devlin
11 months ago

Ceballos would be an incredible signing we pulled that one off. He would be my choice as a Santi replacement.

Santori
Santori
11 months ago
Reply to  Devlin

It may be we have to contemplate loans so we can keep sufficient money to buy quality in other areas (IMO Cback and Winger)

Santori
Santori
11 months ago
Reply to  Santori

Kovacic also potential from RM either or IMO.

there’s also potentially highly capable Bakayoko who seems to have found some form back on loan but his character is a question mark.

If we go the veteran/stop gap route, Juve are carrying a number of geriatrics but they may e able to still afford us a season of good cover. Khedira and Matuidi the two who may have some potential function for prob a lesser price now (or loan)

Santori
Santori
11 months ago
Reply to  Devlin

That price tag…50M euros?

We don’t have much money remember?

Jarghs
Jarghs
11 months ago

Thauvin’s hair deserves another poo.

Santori
Santori
11 months ago
Reply to  Jarghs

Thauvin we would be lucky to get.

He has matured and is consistent both in goals and assist over 2 seasons now.

Plus he is only 26yrs.

Depends on Marseille and their appetite for reconstruction.

BUT certainly a better pick than some ligue 2 unknown.

Plus before some poo poo ligue one, who is Laca?

OnlyBeingHonest
OnlyBeingHonest
11 months ago

Sven > Raul

SuperTom7
SuperTom7
11 months ago

Inanimate carbon rod > Kroenke

JamesGodwinson
JamesGodwinson
11 months ago

Indeed.

Santori
Santori
11 months ago
Reply to  JamesGodwinson

Nah.

Sven just as bacd.

No concise effort or consideration in terms of strategic outlook.

What was the point of Mhkitaryan?

Lichsteiner loaded on for 90K, ended up restricting us and we were in Panic Loan era last January.

Wake up.

The real genius at Dortmund was Zorg. You have been sold a lie.

Joey Jojo Jr Shabadoo
Joey Jojo Jr Shabadoo
11 months ago

The Simpsons reference that most definitely warrants a user name change.

I hope you’ll be support me during this transitional time,

Yours, a commenter formally known as GunnAlex

btw
btw
11 months ago

I build special shuttles all the time, although this must be a case of autocorrect gone wrong.

Faisal Narrage aka Mr. Project Youth 2.0
Faisal Narrage aka Mr. Project Youth 2.0
11 months ago

ZAAAA-GAAAAAA-DOU DOU DOU,
We don’t know who will come through,
ZAGADOU-DOU-DOU,
Could Denis or could be you.

HelderHughes
HelderHughes
11 months ago

Zaa gaa dou dou dou
Tierney would be a coup,
Zaa gaa dou dou dou
But we sign Jordan Ayew.

Faisal Narrage aka Mr. Project Youth 2.0
Reply to  HelderHughes

HEY,
You’re not allowed to steal my joke and make it better.

HelderHughes
HelderHughes
11 months ago

Zaa gaa dou dou dou
Does this joke belong to you?
Zaa gaa dou dou dou
Suppose you could always sue.

Berlingoon
Berlingoon
11 months ago

Zagadou is a horrible player. Way worse than Mustafi.

Santori
Santori
11 months ago
Reply to  Berlingoon

The quality of players we tend to be linked this summer has gone down several notches from when Wenger was in charge just saying. Ligue 2 players…etc. There are certainly worse players than Mustafi but the problem is too many like to have a wank and imagine just about anyone is better than the German. Reality is he hasn’t been anywhere as calamitous as say Koscielny first season and even without him, we stumbled to defeat to Wolves with the vaunted pairing of Koscielny and Sokratis (the same pairing the people who like to criticise Mustafi were telling us was… Read more »

Carl Weathers
Carl Weathers
11 months ago

I buy all my cars at police auction

Merlin’s Panini
Merlin’s Panini
11 months ago

The difficulty with the Zagadou deal is that you have to push a pineapple and shake a tree. Pineapples are spiky fuckers.

Tapps
11 months ago

…and trees bite.

Anders Limpar
Anders Limpar
11 months ago

Any thoughts on Christian Zapata who has just been released from Milan? Only 32 and plenty of experience with a couple of years left, physical enough for the epl…

Faisal Narrage aka Mr. Project Youth 2.0
Reply to  Anders Limpar

Sure. Let’s get Obafemi Martins top whilst we’re at it.

Anders Limpar
Anders Limpar
11 months ago

Fact is we ain’t got much money. Well we have, but while evil stan won’t release funds we are going to have to look at cheap/free options. I’ve seen him a few times for Milan and I’d rather have him than Mustafi.
Just wondering what peoples opinions where.

Futsboller
Futsboller
11 months ago
Reply to  Anders Limpar

Let’s focus on developing the players we do have into a coherent team, and bringing up the youth into genuine players. If we can buy a good player that fits the team’s philosophy, whatever that is or is going to be, then we should do it, but otherwise we shouldn’t be forced into an overinflated transfer market or into picking up 32 year olds who might play a few games for us and then disappear (Lichsteiner).

The Spoon
The Spoon
11 months ago

He’s still only 25 you know

The Spoon
The Spoon
11 months ago
Reply to  Anders Limpar

Gary Cahill….

Mpls
Mpls
11 months ago

Are any of those names on the scratch notes found in Sven’s bin when he left? I’m assuming that’s our transfer strategy and the clear targets they ‘already have established’ for the window.

Big Mad Andy
Big Mad Andy
11 months ago

Blogs, do you think Ozil has a Carl Weathers type loophole where he gets a refund for being bumped off the coach for away games? “Guess where I’m not going”.

Devlin
Devlin
11 months ago
Reply to  Big Mad Andy

I think this Ozil not playing away games or against smaller sides is being overplayed and is now a stick to beat him with. To the point that its now in some way a “fact”. At Real, he played the copa del rey games against minnows, at Werder he basically played every game. When he came to Arsenal, He became our most valuable player and as such he has to be protected, if not from the opposition, who had smashed Wilshere and Abou to bits, then from himself. I always got upset at Sanchez playing games that he shouldn’t have,… Read more »

Big Mad Andy
Big Mad Andy
11 months ago
Reply to  Devlin

Mate, it was just a joke that relates to a reference in the article

Santori
Santori
11 months ago
Reply to  Devlin

We most likely won’t find takers for his salary. If so we should just try and squeeze the best out of him. I think he tries and puts in effort but his problem is : 1) He is a glass half full sort of person. You can’t change that. He won;t be the type to drag the team out of a rut. He will likely be the first to drop his shoulder. 2) He is just not a defensive minded player. In the midfield Emery wants (high press), that means when one player starts to drop in effort, we suffer… Read more »

Santori
Santori
11 months ago

Thauvin would be a great addition. He’s been consistent in both assist and goals. Those who belittle him bc its Ligue one the same who were prepared to see a ligue two player. For that matter both Lacazette and Auba from Ligue one (Auba via Dortmund) BUT price may be an issue. He’s a good age at 26yrs entering his prime. I’m not sure what the premium is on him. A lot depends on Marseille, where they see themselves in ‘reconstruction’. Regardless, there are plenty of options out there for us to sweat prices off. Ziyech and Carrasco are rumoured… Read more »

Santori
Santori
11 months ago

Some discussion on our style of play. I thought Unai (perhaps bc of squad composition left behind) managed to adhere close to Wenger stylistically. Certainly we managed to score a number of ‘team goals’ like old times but we also at our worse went back to sterile possession with little productivity in terms of efforts at goal. Of course the major(glaring) change was to play out from the back (at any risk) which I felt the players may have been too literal with interpretation. Part of the style/system that Emery has is of course hampered by the composition of the… Read more »

q8arse
q8arse
11 months ago

“his profile picture on Transfermarkt makes him look like someone got Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Marouane Chamakh and squashed them into one.”

honestly, lol

The Spoon
The Spoon
11 months ago

Expecting big things Monday when the new kit comes out….. Signings galore already sealed just waiting for the publicity release. We can dream anyway.

Zuhair Ul Haq
Zuhair Ul Haq
11 months ago

*sigh*

Another day of dumb transfer rumours, UAE’s hot weather, and Santori having a conversation with himself in the comments section.

Cricket World Cup, anyone?

UGooner
UGooner
10 months ago

Stew?? That’s a shit stew. No one wants a shit stew.

Loving these articles through the summer though. Arseblog always getting better.