Saturday, March 25, 2023

Wenger ban leaves Arsenal needing a new ‘manager’ for Europe

According to The Independent, Arsene Wenger has opted against a pointless phone call to Michel Platini’s minions and accepted a three game touchline ban and £33,000 fine after being charged with misconduct by UEFA.

Found guilty of swearing at Slovenian referee, Damir Skomina, after our 3-0 win over AC Milan, it is the second year in succession the Frenchman has felt the full force of Nyon’s clipboard Nazis with the boss also receiving a suspension for complaining about Robin van Persie’s red card in the Nou Camp in 2011.

With Pat Rice due to retire, and assuming we make at least the Europa League, the ban throws up the very real prospect of a new man taking charge in the Arsenal dugout for the first time since Arsene joined the club in 1996.

While speculation mounts as to who Wenger will select as the Northern Irishman’s successor, it appears several old boys have had their names thrown into the hat by expectant fans.

Steve Bould, Martin Keown, Tony Adams, Dennis Bergkamp, Gilles Grimandi and Patrick Vieira have all been tipped while Reserve team coach Neil Banfield is another who could be promoted from inside the club.

Even Pep Guardiola’s name has been whispered by a few supporters, presumably ones who smoke a good deal of crack during work hours, although insiders say there’s no way the Spaniard will wear Pat’s old shorts and transition lenses combination.

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FA = Cunts apprentice?

Football Bubble

Wenger swore at the ref? Wonder what he said, wonder if that is why he keeps losing his appeals? I would pay good money to see him call a UEFA appeals panel a bunch of cunts.


Cunts – useful
UEFA – useless.


3 tumbs down!! Seriously who the fuck voted thumbs down on this I get Blatter and Platini thats two .. Who the fuck is that 3rd guy ??

And yes I’m the guy making this comment on every youtube video.

the only sam is nelson

Sam Allardyce with Peter Reid as assistant – you read it here first

Eye thenk ewe


We all know it will be Boro Primorac. Arsene likes to stick with the same people he’s had around for years.

Personally I’d cream myself if it was God, DB10


Not to disrespect Pat, but maybe Arsenal needs someone who’ll push back against Arsene from time to time. I recall once–and mind you that all my watching is done on TV–that Pat seemed to disagree with what Wenger was saying.


Lawrie Sanchez is my man. Great record. Problem is that he only just managed Barnet in League 2 so that will throw people off but do some research on him, you will be pleased.

Midfield Corporal

I’m assuming your jokingAK700, he was attractions in his spell at Fulham, he’s just a poor mans Tony Pullis, which isn’t saying much as Tony Pullis is a Poor Mans Barry fry.

Merlin's Panini

do you mean atrocious?
I don’t recall him playing with Elvis Costello

Midfield Corporal

Yes MP, sorry attricious-like my spell the predictive text on my phone.

Merlin's Panini

you mean atrocious? heh.

Midfield Corporal

Bloody hell, I spelt it wrong again.




You need someone with experience of being on the bench and seeing the in’s and out’s of what’s going on from the dugout.

Fuckin Park or Chamakh must be nailed on for this job.

Too Drunk To Be Offside

Are you insane, if thats the criteria then give Nasri the job right now, no arguments at all.

Of All I Believe...

MourinhO as assistant then?


One thing the Special One will be good at is stirring up the shit!


Mourinho will divide the team into teams of 12 each. One will be managed by him and one by Wenger with Park again left in the middle.. 😛 this way Arsenal will fight for both 1st and 2nd place next season…


Oh go on then. I’ll do it…


i don’t recall the last time this happened did pat rice still wear shorts?i would like to see him suit up at least once lol

Mr. Eboue Armann Yes

Pascal Cygan

Master Bates

Get that AVB fella ,He is cute and I like his touchline moves

Master Bates

Hah – that’s awesome!


It has to be Bergkamp. He is just Arsenal epitomised.

damien joyce

How exactly is he going to get to games?
I suppose it’s another avenue the board could raise money from – Dennis Bergkamp Sponsored Walk to away game in Ukraine( Shaktar??), will then walk back to London for home game before completing his 3 game contract by walking to Israel( Hapoel Tel Aviv??) for his role of stand in manager whilst Wenger rests before picking up his next ban for “sarcastically” smiling at lineswoman when she gets offside decision right.

Old man grape

looking forward the ban Wenger gets for watching those games on TV.

Nigerian Gunner

Me thinks Neil Banfield would be perfect for the job. He not only knows the players at the club, he knows how the club is run on a daily basis. He also has done very well with the reserve team. DB10 would also be good, he understands how to play the Arsenal way but his aerophobia wil hinder the team on their travels. Martin Keown or Tony Adams should be hired to train the defence.

Merlin's Panini

Can’t we just put DB10 to sleep every time he has to fly like Mr T?
I ain’sht getting on no aeroplanesh fool.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

You have to have a nutty guy go with him if it’s the A-Team (Arsenal-Team).
We should send Ian Wright along with him.
Now what Arsenal Legend could do the Mr T part?

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Oh, Mr T was the one who got put to sleep? Shows how poor my memory is. DB10 hardly seems the Mr T type though. He’s too nice.


Get Mad Jens to fill in


Mick MCCarthy.

Only man who could give an interview as interesting as Ian Holloway. Mick would tell it like it is.

“Flippin heck. We were awful.”


I don’t know if the emirates could handle this much sex appeal


I must have watched that video 20 times. Still funny as hell.




Banfield it is.


What about Grimandi? Not that he’s my bet or even favorite, but I’m sure the club has him on some list hidden in a very dark drawer.


Vieira? That bloke who’s the sporting director at Man City? Hows about no. I don’t want anyone associated with Man City coming to Arsenal (although I’d take Kun Aguero as a trade for Bendtner 😉 and we should expunge the City fan we’ve got controlling things named Gazidis I’d have Keown, Adams, or Begkamp (will he fly?). I don’t want some sycophant who’ll just be a yes man to Arsene. We need a hard nosed defensive coach who’ll teach the lads what it is to do the business on someone and assert themselves and will give Arsene a hard time… Read more »


Have you considered applying for the position yourself?

Midfield Corporal

I think Arsene should sit in the stands with a large microphone whilst his assistant wears big headphones just for a laugh.

Michel Platini (Jr)

lifetime ban for disrespecting the game

Merlin's Panini

Wow, £33,000 for basically calling someone a cunny when they were being one, and a three game ban. It’s not like he kicked him in the face is it?
God I fucking hate Platini. Such a penis.


Wenger should have racially abused him. He would’ve gotten off with a £20 fine.


Meanwhile John Terry gets a free pass till after Euro! Cunt!


A VERY small, and garlic smelling penis

Midfield Corporal

Just have to say I love the name. Only ever saw footage of it once but it was a peach, Tyson would have been proud. Does anyone know if it’s still available anywhere?


I think the next Arsenal number 2 will be somebody Wenger will want to groom into his eventual replacement, so Guardiola would not be that much as a surprise because both have the up most respect for one another. I think that it will be Bergkamp, Grimandi or Steve Bould.


But Bergkamp still has that issue with flying.


Even Owen Coyle would not be much of a surprise because of the respect they have for one another.


My choice for the job would be Keown. To me he always appears tactically astute when he’s analysing games on tv and seems like he’ll knows what to do when it’s not working to plan. Although I’d absolutely love it if DB10 came back.

And by the way is anyone else curious as to what Wenger said to the ref?
I mean if it got him banned for 3 games and fined £33,000, then it must have been something worse than racially abusing someone.

‘Sigh’ Why didn’t Wenger just shake his hands afterwards, then it all could have been forgotten.


he told the ref he had a tiny dick




Platini = Darth C*nt

Would love to see DB10 and Keown back in the club in some kind of capacity.


Just read the Pep is gonna step down at Barcelona after this season is over. Interesting.

Glenn Helder

I’m available for a very modest fee


One little suspension rule that UEFA have got right is that should Chelsea win the Champions League John Terry won’t be allowed to lift the trophy or even collect a winners medal because he’s suspended for violent conduct


shit they’ve changed their mind ignore me

Midfield Corporal

Reminds me of when George Graham berated Glen for not tracking back, to which he replied ‘ if you want a defender go fucking buy one’. Wonder why he never made it?

Midfield Corporal

(responding to glen Helder)


Nicklas pizzeria bendtner


When wigan get relegated, how about we pick up roberto martinez?


will dennis have to catch the trains as a coach? i dont know what hed do on the pre season tour. its a long walk on the water to asia. love to have him back at the club. would do wonders for afobe an co.

Simao Segunda

This one might be slightly out of leftfield, but what about Oleg Luzhny? He’s been Assistant at Dynamo Kiev for a few years, and has stepped in as interim manager a couple of times, so he’d be a reasonably experienced option.

Mr. Eboue Armann Yes

Pep is apparently quitting Barca, as you can read here:

I have this strange feeling about him taking Wenger’s role after the season and Wenger to get the role Kenny Daglish had at Pool before his second “reign” there.


No thanks. I want nothing to do with Barca now that we’ve rid ourselves of Cesc and don’t have to listen to them whine anymore. The only time I want to see that pack of cheating little cunts in our stadium is when we’re beating them in the CL.


I have a bet with a Jewish Spurs fan that if we finish above Spurs he will start supporting us. I wanted him to put his money where his mouth is. Please Mr Wenger, we have 3 games left, don’t make the vice versa possible. Please focus and win them.

Midfield Corporal

Good bet, although I’m not sure why we need to know he’s Jewish.


I do think Wilshere made a similar bet with all the spurs fans on twitter or something like that.
In his case, he would donate some money to charity.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Bet your house, bet your money, bet your pig, your goat, or your first born son, but never bet your allegiance to your club. It’s unnatural. Club allegiance is not a swap card to be traded around.


Even Pep Guardiola’s name has been whispered by a few supporters, presumably ones who smoke a good deal of crack during work hours, although insiders say there’s no way the Spaniard will wear Pat’s old shorts and transition lenses combination.

Lmfao!!! Best thing I’ve read in ages!!


Hahaha….brilliant…..”during work hours”….lol.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Spoken like a man who only gets his crack out in the bathroom.


We can’t finish any lower than 6th, so we’re guaranteed a Europa League place (6th place will be Europa League unless Chelsea win the FA Cup, lose the CL final and finish 7th or lower – and if the latter happens, then we’d be at least 5th as Everton can’t overtake us.)

Too Drunk To Be Offside

I would personally take in any of the invincibles anyday, though Vieira is an auto rule out cos of the Man City job he has. I would love DB taking over, but there are two obvious problems (to me atleast) 1) The No Flying thing and given how much it pleases the UEFA to ban Wenger and his ref rap sheet only likely to increase. I mean last time it was a ban for doing exactly what UEFA tell you to do during a ban ban, then this time its a how dare you talk to a ref ban, and… Read more »

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

There’s nothing wrong with Vieira. He’s doing a fine job. Who do you think keeps putting all that bullshit in Mancini’s mouth every time he’s interviewed. “We have no chance”…. that’s agent 004 speaking.


Bring back Adams from Azerbaijianacabainnnn?

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