Monday, June 24, 2024

Arsenal v Schalke – single word review and player ratings

It’s back to the dictionary for Arseblog News as we try to put into words a woeful performance which has pretty much left us lost for them.

Please note, we reserve the right to invent our own words at any time. Or, when circumstances dictate, use more than one word which may or may not include words we’ve invented.

Vito Mannone: 6/10 – exposed

Andre Santos: 2/10 – taxi

Carl Jenkinson: 6/10 – hearty

Thomas Vermaelen: 5/10 – submissive

Per Mertesacker: 6/10 – blocky

Francis Coquelin: 5/10 – frenzied

Mikel Arteta: 5/10- mediocre

Aaron Ramsey: 3/10 – bunkum

Santi Cazorla: 5/10 – squeezed

Lukas Podolski: 4/10 – sterile

Gervinho: 4/10 – maddening


Olivier Giroud: 5/10- toothless

Serge Gnabry: 6/10- promising

Andrey Arshavin: 5/10 – invisible

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but normal comment policy applies. If you’re not familiar with it, please read.


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Concise and accurate it would seem.


One word for the pre-match photo above: Terrified.

Big Goon



I got so frustrated by Gervinho needlessly running into trouble I yelled something that wasn’t even a word.


1 – number of AFCON tournament I so need gervinho to attend!

Get in!

Runcorn Gooner

Shame they dont have 5 or 6 a year


Yeah, seriously though gervinho needs to head out there and rediscover his mojo, right now he’s no where near capable of a starting position in this Arsenal team.

Yet he’s always in the starting line, regardless of how piss poor he gets he always knows he’ll get selected week in week out. That’s why the 3 weeks he gets in the Afcon is a welcomed break by me!


Funny thing is that we are so poor we’ll miss even him.


Speak for yourself

Chambo/gnabry/arshavin can do the job while he’s away.

Red Cannon

Uh… He is our leading scorer (although I do agree that he’s frustrating.)


I love fair rating on Ramsey

[…] Match Report – Video – Player ratings […]




This was the match I screamed the most “pass2!!” to Gervinho and Ramsey.
Why the hell they need extra one or two touches or dribbles while one touch pass will just do the job.


…..especially Ramsey, I think he should go on loan. He keeps the ball unnecessarily so as to seem relevant or as if he is dictating play like Fabregas used to but he always come out looking stupid……. I fail to see what Wenger & some fans (mostly British) see in him. Finally, what is it with waiting for 75 mins to do a sub while we haven’t mustered a shot on target? Oooooh, almost forgot, how did Ramsey last the whole game?


Well, if you dont remember, ramsey before his injury played pretty much like fabregas and arsenal fans werent complaining then. And on matters of spotting talent I would rely more on wenger than on you


Pretty accurate… can’t watch these palookas for a while..


6/10 for Gnabry is nonsense. If Ramsey had made that pass before their second goal he wouldn’t have got out of the stadium alive.


We were loosing anyway, it’s not like the resulting goal was going to rid us of victory or a draw. So who gives a shit!


Your idiotic justification is 10/10.

Runcorn Gooner

So true.Ramsey is the fall guy for everything (Although Gerv is trying hard to take over)


While Gnabry’s error end up costing a goal, Schalke still had a lot to do to score after he lost it. Several other players were found wanting in that passage of play. Gnabry at least gets credit for being the only one our team to get a shot on target.

santi's panties

Gnabry missed 2 or 3 careless passes before that. He looked completely unprepared for that level of defensive awareness. Lack of experience, overzealous youngster stuff can be understood but must be pointed out.

Red and White Stripey Socks

Is there a pattern developing here?


Yep, its been developing for the last 8 seasons.
Who’s confident about the United match??? If any of you are someone kindly pass me whatever you’re smoking.

martin wengrow

Pretty much agree with ratings, Gnabry really bad error for second goal, so only a four for him. What marks would our fans give for Steve Boulds performance? Damaged his credibility wit h his failure to remove Santos at half time, and his late substitutions werern’t too clever either.

Rohan Sood

Andre Santos – “Which side do i score ?”

Lets Make it 10 years!!!

I didn’t feel sad, disappointed or angry!
I’m actually getting immune to defeat.
Am I still a gooner?!?

The truth is we suck, from last season we sold RVCuntsie our highest goal scorer, Song our highest assist maker & our 2nd highest goal scorer from last season (Theo) is injured & might be sold!

What have we done to deserve this?!
Just sign some quality players Arsene, it’s the only option.


It’s not as simple as that, just ask Man City. We could have got something out of the match had we made better subs earlier. We do need another striker though and less fucking injuries would help!


The same Man City whom have won FA Cup and EPl titles in suceeding years?


man city can create chances, arsenal doesn’t. we need quality players.


Good Morning. I went to bed immediately after the game because I could not handle the vile poisonous tweets on Twitter nor the opinion blogs where so much bad feelings was being expanded by Arsenal fans. No one likes to lose, and there is nothing worse, it seems than a Arsenal loss. “Those were the days my friends when we thought it would never end.” Ah…Sorry about that folks I was drifting back to the early part of 2000 when we thought it would never end. I agree with all the single word rating shown above But will add the… Read more »


Bet the people thumbing you down sees something that I dont see. Its 8th year folks! F**king wake up.


I guess the truth can be really hard to take for faith-fools who love clickin’ on ‘thumbs down’.
Fuckin’ wake up!


Couldn’t honestly make that assessment of Giroud yesterday, he probably only had 4 touches on the pitch. Methinks you just don’t like the bloke.


The guy isnt helping himself too so far I must confess: if he isn’t missing sitters a la Chelsea and Stoke, he is busy trying overambitious long range shots (Sunderland) or outrageous volleys (Norwich). He’s been so poor so far even his coach gave up on him 3games into the season.




GERVINHO–GERVINHO nothing more can said.


Le Coq: 7/10 – Risen


Thought we could only improve last night, but defeat to the Germans has seen our season take a distinct turn for the Wurst.

Oh pass the fuckin shotgun.

Adam, Watford

Are you saying we didn’t produce anything discenible last night . . . not a thing . . . not a sausage ?


Carl jenkinson and his promising forward runs only to stop and give the ball back to Mertesacker also annoys the shit out of me. This RB is not a risk taker and to win games sometimes you need that!.

Jenkinson – marktimer!

Andre Santos

Jenks needs to be a bit more like me then?


Shut up andre, just shut up!



Carl Jenkinson: 4/10 – deadender

Jenks is tidy from a defensive standpoint but he did fuck all offensively and it has been the same story in recent matches. He could at least try to play a through ball or make a run past the defence. Then again, he had Ramsey to work with and if he lost the ball or got caught out of position the fans would have his head. Anyway, giving him a joint top score with Per is stretching credibility.


Many are saying that this is the worst squad we have and stuff like that. But to be honest i don’t think the players should be blamed. I don’t think the players we have are all that bad. Of course we could with 2 or 3 more quality players but they are not so bad they perform so badly against norwich and Schalke. The players look so clueless on the pitch. What do they exactly do on the training ground???.. It looks like they just practice possession and pass the ball around. There is hardly any movement from our forwards… Read more »

Mach III

Not a good rating on Cazorla, he had an outstanding performance. 1 on 3 much of the game, still got into good positions, still didn’t lose the ball, still sprayed the ball to the right players. 9/10. Not many people in world football could do what he did last night. Also disagree with Coquelin. He was excellent at doing what he was in the team to do. 7/10 Promising performance. Jenkinsen was awful. his defending is good, but getting the ball to other players is despicable. Ramsey made a few good runs on the right. Jenkinsen takes a look, realises… Read more »

Runcorn Gooner

Looking in a glass half full way the fact remains that most teams have a wobble or two during a season.I just hope that they can get back in the swing against QPR. AW /SB have got to sort out various areas of the pitch but we do have some class players returning sooner rather than later.
The last thing we need is for QPR to do a Norwich and register their first win of the season against us.
I personally feel we will take them apart and get the season back on track.Oh how I prefer glasses full.

N7 Gooner

Thank goodness we’re going to get a talent injection with the return of Wilshere and Sagna.


The elephant in the room is giroud. No one wants to contemplate him not coming good, as most of us realists will know that if he don’t then we are well and truly fucked.


I too, am becoming numb to this. Bould’s policy of “I know what’s wrong but i’m not doing anything about it, and I trust Wenger to magically sort-it” seems to apply for the whole club. We’re 8th in the league, I bet we lose to QPR and Liverpool jump above us. Meh. Sort it out, Arsenal. Until then I will not be paying the highest price on the planet to watch this shite.

Runcorn Gooner

Oi Dumbo get off your ass and score those goals we know you can.
AW has got to give him a run and find out if he can do the biz otherwise it’s……
Nelly the elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus

i want to boff giroud and im not even gay

Why was the French walking-wank-bank left on the bench for 70 mins? We have been disturbingly shite for the past 5 weeks or so. Time for Wenger and his cronies to do one, methinks.


Also, the problem is not Giroud. Since the genieii of Henry and RvP left no-one else has managed to play well at CF. Bendtner, Eduardo, Chamakh, Giroud… All decent players, but it’s the way we condense the attack, squeezing all 22 players into the final 3rd, the CF has no room to move! We need to attack with pace.

Midfield Corporal

RVP and Adebayor did well at CF, Eduardo was fine before being crocked, Bendtner did ok when played there instead of on the right and I won’t judge Giroud till the end of the season. I do agree however that it gets condensed in the final third but that should suit a big man scrapping for crosses I’d have thought. How do you encourage teams like Norwich or Sunderland to be cavalier so we can hit them on the break? I dont know.


we dont have to, we need our front three player to make well timed runs behind the defense for lob passes (lyk song/rvp, song/walcott use to do). we have very poor off the ball movement…jst watch how man-u attacks and compare to arsenal.


The rating of Coq is unfair. He was our best player throughout! Personally i’d have given him a 7


Boink! AGM with a hangover and coldsores! Loving this week. Can you all stop shouting please.

Mach III

Kroenke, ” Why don’t they just pick that ball up and run it in for a touch down?” Hill-wood: “No, no, you see this kind of football is played along the ground. No hands.” Kroenke: “No hands? You gotta be kidding me. I gave you guys permission to sell that other guy.. What’s his name, that vans pussy guy cause when I met him. He gave me a rather flimsy handshake. ” Hill-wood: “It’s Robin van Persie. At least we made good money out of it.” Kroenke: “money. yeah, that’s what I’m all about you know.” Hill-wood: “money.” Kroenke: “dollars.”… Read more »

Midfield Corporal

Vermalaen seems to have a worrying lack of awareness. For the first goal the camera from behind shows us half clear the ball, the BFG pushes up whilst still keeping the right side of his man but TV just hares forward leaving Huntalaar behind him so Mertersacker has 2 men to mark, one being the wrong side of him. One constant of Arsenes reign is our inability to put a bad defeat behind us and win the next game like Man Utd do. Its like we feel sorry for ourselves for 3 or 4 games before snapping out of it.… Read more »

Adam, Watford

The last two games I was thinking,

‘ Come back Deneilson, all is forgiven ‘

I mean, there is a player who can make a sideways pass all day long !


I don’t want to call our own wankers, but that was a wanker performance. One you expect from those who must not be namned.

Fatima n Raja

So accurate. Expressed my feelings right through.


look guys,we should stop going to the stadium,we should stop buying tickets (the most expensive in the world)to watch a performance like that,we need dont beleive what the board will sad(strong position,money,lack of something).please we should help the club we love


Arsenal been seen as the best attacking team full of creative players.However, they seem to have lost all at once.The last two matches we haven’t even seen arsenal close to getting a goal. The team is playing as bad as they can. I am not a football expert, but the game we played against schalke was not good. We left lot of space on the left and they thankfully accepted it by scoring and creating most of the chances from that side. Every game we see that how much we are missing RVP. Arsene has to get someone to replace… Read more »

Ivor Biggun

afraid we’ll need to sell most of them


Kroenke- stupid(i dont know why but i guess someone has to be)


Arsene Wenger: 6/10 – over


Cool. The Spud that always thumbs me down thumbed me up this time. Shame about the rest though.


It was a bad game yes but leave the mass suicide till may.i can’t believe we sit behind phones and computers slagging off people like arsene and bouldie who have done more in football then most people in the game and its only October we had the same shit last year and we turned it time maybe half the stadium shouldn’t fuck off because we let a goal in it was a joke all the groaning and fucking corporate suits is why the prices are so high and the place is so fucking quite


May….of which year?






i’m as depressed and disappointed as anyone else, and it has the familiar feeling of ‘here we go again about it’ all the early season optimism has vanished but in terms of the champs league we are still only 1 point off the top, if we beat them next game then we can certainly top the group and lets try and enjoy the fact that man city have only 1 point with all their squillions of dirty pounds, real madrid and chelsea lost too – its not just about spending spending spending. it helps for sure, but there is no… Read more »

Lifetime Gooner

single word for the team : ‘SHIT’

Waste of my time unfortunately and after a very hard week at work i need some enjoyment in my free time. Looks like Arsenal cant even do that any more

Joseph makuer

Oh my God we got another lose againg, plz wenger buy another striker,like lawandowki or lopez


The Arsenal model has become rotten to the core. The problem is systemic we are not good enough any more. Its time to gut it and start again if not those swaths of red empty seats will grow and grow. Today is the day that the club should say ‘We are shit, but today it stops, today we start again” Go on I dare you.


Sorry Blogs need to revise list slightly. Don Vito Mannone: 5/10 – exposed Andre Santos: 2/10 – unfit Carl Jenkinson: 6/10 – steady Thomas Vermaelen: 5/10 – worrisome Per Mertesacker: 6.5/10 – Adams (Family)/ Lurchy Francis Coquelin: 6/10 – tryist Mikel Arteta: 5/10- shocked Aaron Ramsey: 3/10 – Hen (Toothless and wandering aimlessly) . Santi Cazorla: 4/10 – Bullied Lukas Podolski: 4/10 – Ploddy Gervinho: 1/10 – insane (in the cranium) Subs Olivier Giroud: 5/10- Lethargic Serge Gnabry: 6/10- enterprising Andrey Arshavin: 3/10 – LostinSpacey This is the first time I have ever criticised Ramsey but he needs to improve… Read more »


Arseblog u messed up this time. Per and le coq were our best players and played really good despite the rest of the teams bad display. Both of them should get at least 7/10


the problem at arsenal is not buying players.. It’s keeping those quality players that we do have..! That’s how you build a squad.. Not selling your best players every season.. How do they expect to achieve anything..? We will always be “not good enough to compete”.. Sad hey.. already feel like this season can end now..!


Fair analysis. Man, just when you think everything is looking up we come crashing down to earth with an almighty thud! Two words can describe how I’ve felt watching the last two games – immense frustration. Please please please don’t put us through another season of ups and downs, I crave ups, I need ups, I yurn for ups! One signing required, one a* striker, a match winner of the highest calibre. And if TV doesn’t pull his finger out soon, captain or not, I think it’s seriously time to consider LK partnering the BFG. Come on Arsenal, let’s put… Read more »


Have been hoping they’d put Kos and the BFG together… Make Arteta captain, and place TV5 on the bench for awhile.

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