Monday, June 17, 2024

Reading v Arsenal – single word review and player ratings (drinks special)

Arseblog News usually delves into the dictionary for verbal stimulation but after last night’s mad match we needed a stiff drink…so it’s to the drinks cabinet we go as we try and put into words one of the most remarkable games in Arsenal’s 126 year history.

Martinez: 6/10 – Slippery Nipple

Jenkinson: 8/10 – Armagnac

Miquel: 6/10 – Gin and Tonic

Koscielny: 8/10 – Vodka Martini

Djourou: 7/10 – Rusty Nail

Coquelin: 7/10 – Cidre not Cider

Frimpong: 6/10 – House red

Gnabry: 7/10 – Jagerbomb

Arshavin: 8/10 – Aftershock

Walcott: 9/10 – Dom Perignon

Chamakh: 7/10 – Irish Coffee


Giroud: 8/10 – Sex on the Beach

Eisfeld: 8/10 – Tequila (it makes me happy)

Meade: 6/10 – Sake

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but normal comment policy applies. If you’re not familiar with it, please read.

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One word comment:



What would Le Prof be?

Borneo Gooner

French Wine, no?


Chateau Margaux


chateauneuf du prof






Koscielny 8/10
Djourou 7/10

5 goals conceded against Reading.



rather generous… hung over perhaps? 😀

H. P. Arsecraft

Koscielny = cheap screwdriver with moonshine instead of vodka. Works on a tuesday night but it’s something you never, ever want to drink again.

Parisian Weetabix

I watched the entire first half highlights on Arsenal Player, and Djourou actually had a very good first half. He wasn’t really at fault for any of the goals – bar the fourth, debatably, and won the majority of his duels. I would have said he outshone Koscielny on the first half alone.

Incidentally, does anyone know if debatably is a legit word, because it has a red squiggly line underneath it. Thankyou.


They don’t even play togerther at training, what did you expect?


The loss of form from Koscielny is very alarming… At fault for the first goal as Roberts evaded him far too easily. Scored an own goal to add to the one he scored when we faced Chelsea. Out muscled by Roberts again late on – a player he struggled with all night. Djourou is fast becoming a Senderos. All the early season optimism about Bould’s supposed defensive solidarity seems to evaporate when we you ship five goals to a club at the bottom of the premier league. I know that a 5-7 scoreline makes great headlines but Arsenal shouldn’t be… Read more »

Fritzl Palace

Missed a trick there with Meade:


Oh, well spotted.


giroud – martini – shaken

Eric Irish gunner

Readings- bitter


Kos was 0.0000001/10 in the first half. Just dreadful, and really should have been sent off for two yellows. But he deserves a huge amount of credit for turning it around and having easily his best game this season in 2nd half/ET. So overall, I’d say 6/10 is probably fair.


arshavin was my man of the match for that crazy awesome game, he summed it up perfectly – one minute he gives the ball away with a terrible terrible pass, but when he gets it back he just runs at them and makes things happen, dribbling past people, shooting like a nutter


plus he’s usually subbed after 60mins so he ended up played 2 games in one


I honestly was waiting for AA23 to collapse after all the running he had to do. He gave the ball away far too easily but made up for it with some very inspired play in the second half. His through ball to Theo for his first goal was Santi inspired.

Dr Baptiste

Surely as he’s older, Santi’s through balls are Andre inspired….


I thought coquelin was immense didn’t stop running all game, like Jenkinson. For me easily man of the match if it wasn’t for Walcott’s performance


giroud needs to start every game now, that header was fantastic

cant really tell about gnabry as he was mostly in the shit 1st half, but eisfeld looks really really really good.
it can be too long before hes in the main team

ox, gnabry, eisfeld, miyachi(!) – you’d better hurry up and sign that new contract theo

Master Bates

he works really good with theo , we need combinations , Poldi and cazorla have already formed their combo.


miyaichi didn’t even play for wigan yesterday, i wonder what became of him

Merlin's Panini

he’s injured at the moment. Thigh strain I think. That said, he hasn’t really had the game time he deserves so far this season. I think he should be recalled and loaned to a Championship side, at least to get some regular game time.


Wasnt able to see the game, but my girlfriend (who is sceptical about football in general and Arsenal in particular) sent me regular updates as the match progressed. Heres my favourite of all the updates she sent:

“Arsenal is an amazing team!!! Walcott just scored in like the last min”

I think we have a new convert, boys.

Sydney Gooner

The Game: Boring


Oh yeah. A boring game I almost died right from the get go with the way I was breathing until I got my miracle at the end! Never a dull moment!
When we were 4 down, fellow Gooners said we’d need a miracle to come back. In reply, I told them at that point, even Jesus Christ won’t be interested.
He really was interested afterall!


20 people have never heard of sarcasm?


1 – number of a worried tony adams I saw on the stands. The look on his face was priceless. If he only we’d COMEBACK!!!!!

Master Bates


I’ll go wait in the car


Kos is suffering from a lack of games it would seem, he got turned inside out by Roberts last night but did battle on and got a vital goal, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Walcott was exceptional and he seemed to grab the game by the throat, he was everywhere! Hopefully we see a front three of Podolski, Giroud and Walcott against United, I think that will cause real problems for them. We need Santi to have a better game than his last 2 though, if he can control the match I really fancy us.


How can Koscielny end up with 8 when he gave Reading the first two goals with rubbish defending??


By scoring the 3rd goal, never stopping to catch a breath and fighting till the end. Not to mention he’s probably the person most responsible for the wonderfully crazy game of football we witnessed, one which will live long in the memory. For that alone he deserves a perfect ten!

Los Polandos

I feel that these ratings are going in a bad direction. I understand the heat of the moment, the flow of endorphine etc., but please put your feet on the ground. Koscielny was shite, fauled in dangerous positions, got owned a couple of times, postionioned himself badly for a 4 goal, could have been sent off. Did he show a great determination, did he fight like a pitbull – yes. Does it make a 8/10 – come on. Same goes for jenks, who was asleep on unproductive for first half. Arshavin? Guy had miserable 80 minutes. Did he wake up… Read more »


if you cant enjoy that game and get into the party spirit few a few days then i feel very sorry for you

Los Polandos

Oh I did enjoy it profoundly – into the wee hours I carried on enjoying. But joy and blurred vision that results in opinions like “we must play Arshavin in the middle, he was so good during the game” are two different things altogether. I just do not accept idea that after one good game, or – in this case – after couple of good touches, you forget what was going on before. It is also interesting from a management point o f view – how does Arsene point out the shit that has flown for so long without killing… Read more »


I understand exactly what you mean man. I was wondering whether we were able to come back only because Reading were starting to tire out. We were 4 – 2 down till the 88th (or so) minute. Yes we had chances, but the reason why we didn’t convert them was because of our own shortcomings. We were poor in the final third in spite of scoring 7 goals. We missed too many chances last night. And I supposed we’re known to miss too many chances overall. That is frustrating ! But also, Reading were NOT sitting back and defending the… Read more »

Dr Baptiste

Can you condense that down into 4 or 5 bullet points?

Dancing Cannon

Hey that goal you say happened to make it 4-4 was at 5-5 in extra time to make it 6-5..when Arshavin should’ve cut it back to a wide open walcott. the 4th goal was nodded down by Chamakh to Walcott who did the only thing he couldve done, and shot.

Entre Dans La

Over/Under on how many people actually read 2 line so that long post?


Im going under

Adams Jr

Well said.

Dancing Cannon

Hey guess who got three assists? AA23..classic misinformed person just not looking at what happened. Without Arshavin there would have been no comeback.. he set up the first goal, the fifth and the eventual winner in the sixth.. True he gave up possession fairly easily, but he never stopped working, he came back and won tackles, and he ran at the reading defense..True, one can argue it wasn’t his best game, but for not playing at all to come and do what he did was remarkable.. I say all credit to arshavin


that was the most batshit crazy game I’ve ever watched. I didn’t get to see the first 20 minutes and when I turned on the TV and saw the score at 3-0 I thought I’d traveled into bizzaro world. Giroud showed again just what happens if he gets proper service in the air. Brilliant header and massive credit to Djourou to duck down and not try taking the header himself. Theo was immense, can’t say enough about him. The Defense in the first half was the worst I’ve ever seen from Arsenal and I think worse than the loss to… Read more »


We just had this Siemann kid (17 years old, German) sign his first professional contract with us. He’s a defender I think. It’s on the official website.


The whole game- Bloody Mary!!

Finnish Hit

Long Island Iced Tea. Vodka, gin, tequila, rum, triple sec. And a mixer…


Arshavin is killing himself trying to win Wenger and the fans back. Surely he has a case for a starting line up. He plays like Gervinho, but he has the finish product in passing and shooting. He would take so much pressure of Cazorla. It was also good to see Chamakh hit some form. Looked really good as a supporting forward once Giroud came on. Still can’t believe what I saw, I was cursing in 6 different languages before half time lol


dunno about these scores at all, kos – 8?, gnarby – 7? Very generous


I was just gonna suggest, ignore the first half when taking ratings! 🙂


Walcott was really good, we have a lot of promising young players such as Gnabry and Eisfeld. But our defense wasn´t good enough yesterday.


D’aaaaaw, look at Theo resting his head on Girouds abs.

Gooner graham

Wat a crazy 2 hours, right result great sub timing poor from them best team won on the night. Satday the big 1. Cum on u arsenal


Giroud – Definitely Sex On The Beach

followed by

A new type of dreamy

100yr old fan

Me: heart attack.
I’m gettin too old for this

North Bank Gooner

if you can have creative license word wise, so can we 😉

arsenal away fans – thebollocks!




I’d say Kos was more like a fine port. He got much better as time went on. Arshavin was a White Russian. Smooth and creamy with a bite.

Entre Dans La

I;d say Frimpong was a – Bourbon Street Hurricane

the only sam is nelson

First Half drinks:

Bleach——Mr Muscle—–Cif———Jeyes
Kestrel Super—-Buckfast—–Cooking Sherry
Diesel——–unleaded————–lighter fluid

Second half

Remy Martin—Oban—-Jura—-Glenlivet
Grey Goose—Belvedere——-ciroc
Pol Roger—–Krug—-Veuve Cliquot


I went at 4the nil down, turned the tv on an hour later and saw that it was 4-4, I thought I comitted suicide and was fantasising in heaven, then arsenal won 5-7 whicch confirmed to me that I was in heaven!


the team must have got a right bollickin at half worked.not for the fainthearted.really enjoyed 2nd u must be shittin themselves………game will probably be a 5_4 on saturday.

Ozzi Gooner

I can’t the enigma that is AA#23? It’s easy to see why the haters are quick to bag him out given his reluctance to ‘defend’ but personally I would have a match fit AA#23 over Ramsey, Gervinho any day of the week! The guy hasn’t been given a chance and when he is introduced it’s usually for the last 20 odd minutes which is just ludicrous. He has been inspirational during the 2 League Cup games and always adds that extra creativity (the cross at QPR which gave us the goal) and with similar qualities as Santi, I strongly believe… Read more »


I don’t agree with 8/10 for Koscielny – he had a horrible game! Kept putting in overly heavy tackles, was lucky to stay on the field, had awful positioning, scored an own goal (OK, I know he scored one too) & played Reading on side for at least one goal (I’m pretty sure about this last one).
Regurgitated After Shock mixed with Absinthe…..


No drinks, but a big green carrot at half time.

Laughed my arse off all the way through the rest.

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