Friday, December 8, 2023

Tiki-haka! Kiwis eye Arsenal friendly

It’s been rumoured for a while that Arsenal are in the process of organising a couple of friendlies in the USA as part of next summer’s pre-season preparations, but it appears the Gunners have other options on the table.

A report in the New Zealand press claims Kiwi side Wellington Phoenix are keen on inviting the Gunners for a match in the off-season with the club’s managing director David Dome recently travelling to the UK to try and lure a big name Premier League club Down Under.

While Dome refused to name the sides with whom he has been talking, he did drop a hint that Phoenix’s sponsorship deal with Huawei – who last week announced a commercial partnership with Arsenal – could play a role.

“One of the things that’s been brought up is our Huawei sponsorship,” he is quoted as saying by the Nelson Mail.

“It is a significant relationship. Huawei have made a couple of announcements in that area over the past couple of weeks.”

The report claims Auckland’s 50,000-seater Eden Park – venue for the Rugby World Cup finals in 1987 and 2011 – would be in the running, as would Wellington’s Westpac Stadium, which could fit about 38,000 with extra temporary seating.

Arsenal have focused most of their marketing efforts in the Far East over the last three years with tours of the region deemed a great success.

It remains to be seen how big an emphasis the club places on global gallivanting this summer, but given much of Arsene Wenger’s squad will be away at the World Cup in Brazil the boss will likely want to keep things low key.

In that respect New Zealand – 12,000 miles away from the Emirates and with a population half that of New York – seems an unlikely destination.

Personally, Arseblog News is well up for a jaunt to New Zealand, if only to see the BFG doing the Haka.


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I swear to god I’m going to stab some cunts if Arsenal go to NZ before Australia


You might just need to chill out a bit.


it’s a figure of speech


“I’m going to stab some cunts” is a figure of speech? Try it out and about and see how well that works for you.

“I’m going to stab some cunts if my coffee takes a minute longer”, said Alex in Starbucks … shortly before police arrived.


I think he means it’s an *Australian* figure of speech!


oh man, how embarrasing

He's a blatant diver, but good at it

Guys, don’t worry about the top comment.

I live in the western suburbs of Melbourne, and there’s a lot of cheap tracksuit wearing, trainer thieving, banned from the local pub blockheads in the satellite suburbs on that side of town.

Ditto Western Sydney, North Adelaide and South Perth.

England’s parallel are those numpties who live around the Tottenham High Road area – you know, the ones that burnt their own town.


An advert right there for exactly why Arsenal should go to NZ before Oz


Haha amen to that

Wengers White Socks

Alex I’ll even join you. Serious NZ before Australia!!!!


Lets not confuse kiwis with aussies. We claim kiwis when they are successful (crowded house, russell crowe) but other then that aussies and kiwis are not the same. For starters they say sex instead of 6.. and ‘fush n chups’. And dont forget the 3 great kiwi lies…… cheques in the mail, my mother is a moari princess, and the popular I was just helping the sheep over the fence.


Soz, love a good kiwi bashing.



Kiwi Gooner

Yup, you can keep Russell Crowe, we don’t want him. We haven’t given one of our indigenous animals the disease chlamydia, liike you have given the poor Koala bear! Oz, the place where under arm bowling is a true sport. And your AFL and NRL teams are drug cheats!

Oz bashing, a favourite Kiwi sport!


Lol, i lived in NZ for a year and got back a few months ago. It is an incredible place. Australia on the other hand…….


You mean you will John Terry John Terry in his John Terry?


I agree 100% Alex. Manure and Liverpool visited gods country (Oz) last off season…… both huge successes. I would love to see the mighty Gunners in OZ. In saying that, its only a 3 hour flight across the ditch to Australia’s unofficial 7th state………………


I’m guessing it’s been pretty long since you’ve been within stabbing distance of an actual cunt, no?


If he’s using swooning metaphors like that in his chat-up lines…


Going on the season so far, I think we should do the same pre season again. Including the running man!


ah, the man who made this years title runs possible!


That man was proof of how devoted fans in far off parts of the world are to the Arsenal. I sometimes get the impression that Fans who are privileged to go the the stadiums every match day feels those of us far off are less fans than they.

I still remember a friend falling from a baobab tree deep in the Equatorial rain forest when I climbed up the tree so his radio signals could be better so he could listen to Live commentaries on the BBC.

Bould's Eyeliner

While the NZ and Australian contingencies arguments of who can stab cunts better have been mildly amusing, it would be amazing if New York Gooners got a real treat to head over to (oddly enough) New Jersey to see the New York Red Bulls (wait what?) and the King play the current Gunners side… Here’s to hoping!

Santi Claws

Yeah but you’re New York. You get shit like that all the time. New Zealand, on the other hand, is a country so culturally sparse we have celebrity BUILDERS. An Arsenal match here would be the equivalent of an alien spacecraft landing in the middle of Central Park.


I’d thumbs up this again if I could mate!

Bould's Eyeliner

Fair enough man. But I think its great that builders can be celebrities – they’re actually maintaining a reputation for contributing to civil engineering and society? Hats off.

And if you haven’t been to NYC yet, here’s a bit of advice. Central Park is the most overrated lawn for the super rich, and it’s a huge waste of time – it’s a patch of fucking manicured grass for people who can’t be fucking bothered to go see some real nature 30-40 minutes north of the city, that costs millions every year to maintain in tax dollars.


So we could well see Arsenal win the league but still go down (under).


I hope they go to the States. While Chelski and Manure have plenty of support amongst American football fans, Arsenal have their fair share, as well. I’m sure they would tie in any tour with the Red Bulls (maybe Henry could play one half with each team), and they would certainly get their money’s worth. Plus it would be fun for Americans to see some proper football for a change!


Oh God the puns… So many puns…


I, for one, welcome our overlords if this is the sort of thing they will facilitate.


As an exiled Gooner in NZ, please let this be true. Although I agree it’s a long shot.


I’ll buy ten tickets if they actually do come! (Malaysian studying in NZ, missed The Arsenal TWICE back home already and will do pretty much anything to be able to see them play live)


For last year’s pre-season we had both United and Liverpool visit us in Sydney and Melbourne respectively and Juventus will be here later on in the year in August.

Surely New Zealand and Australia would be in the Gunners’ interests considering they haven’t been here as yet – who knows?

If so, I’ll see you there!


Arsenal have visited Oz before, Port Adelaide Pirates still have Terry O’Neill’s and David O’Leary’s signatures (and others I forgot) on the wall in their dressing room. Made a huge impression on me when I played there as a kid. To change in the same room as a Gunner! Oh the pride I felt!

Hank Scorpio

I’m with alex minus the stabbing of cunts


Hank, while you’re here: any idea where I could get a hammock?

He's a blatant diver, but good at it

If they come to NZ you can all stay at my place


Kiwiern Gibbs.
Lukas Podolskiwi.

(Terrible I know, but don’t expect an apology)


You forgot Jackiwilishere.


holy shit this would be amazing


Our Spanish wizard should feel right at home in NZ. (Sorry, someone had to do the LOTR thing)


well, at least the team did travel to Vietnam last year. 🙂

Hank Scorpio

Your best best is the hammock district blogs


Eternalflamini, did you just call Santi a hobbit?


Man! This would be terrific!!! Come on guys – after you’ve won the title, come to Godzone!


I’m in Wellington and up in the middle of the night to watch every Arsenal match, it would be lovely to see them during the waking hours!


Wow! NZ! I guess there must be some deal with Emirates about Air Miles per year? You couldn’t get further away!!

If this materialises, I hope the guys aren’t too knackered by the trip


Bravo News Hound (can’t reply directly)

kiwigunner v 2.0

I wish I had read all the comments before chosing my handle.


Oh, oh, oh…..that last sentence blogs? BFG….would that be Per MerterHaka?


I will also be annoyed if they head to NZ before Aus, but I’ll still try and arrange a work trip…

Mate Kiddleton

Please have it at Eden Park. It’s just 10 minutes away 😛


Scrap Nz come to Oz and fit in a friendly with juventus while your here 😉


And everybody’s welcome to visit my farm and gulp as much wines and olive oils if this happens


In Napier by any chance?


I don’t know.. what with us already having a coop of flightless chicken for neighbours, is there a point in going to Kiwiland for summer?


It is a tradition for the Phoenix fans to take off their shirts and wave them in the air if they are winning at the 80 minute mark. Even the ladies do it sometimes……….


That’s it, I’m booking right now.

Kiwi Gooner

As Kevin said, you are all welcome at mine if the lads play at Eden Park. We all know that God is a Gooner and New Zealand is Gods Own. Alex, piss off! you guys got the Mancs and the Redscum last year, let us have the Mighty Arsenal. COYG


Sankiwi Cazorla.
Matty Flaminkiwi.

(You lot are sooooo lucky I ain’t got work today)

New guy

don’t forget wojciech szczkiwi


And then there’s Rosickiwi


Laurent Kiwiscielny?


New Zealand out Kazakhstan in


I thought it had been too quiet from this guy…

Kiwi Gooner

Aaron Ramskiwi? Tomas Rosickiwi? Lukas Podolskiwi?….I’m off to bed…….

The Ox is a fox

holding a kiwi in your hands?


And finally I give you……

Backiwi Sagna


People have been saying that NZ is one the best places to go. Up the Gunners for a match in NZ.


How kiwi possibly forget Newzealand.

The fool of a Took

Sorry, but I can´t let go of the “stab some cunts” remark. Why on Gods green(ish) earth isn´t that a common expression??

“If Suarez gets another penalty by diving, I´m going to stab some cunts!”

A Yank In King Arsene's West Stand

….Pretty sure because it calls to mind a woman being raped with a knife. So we probably shouldn’t, you know, start incorporating that into our vernacular.

The man who would be bling

Because some people don’t want to be thought of as misogynistic fuckers with mommy issues.

arse n all

I would cry a little if this happened, a true kiwi and a true gooner! This would be incredible! So many kiwis would love to high quality teams here, and they don’t come much higher than our Arsenal!

Sarson Vinegar's frightening sarnie

“They don’t come much higher than out Arsenal”?

They don’t come any higher than Arsenal.

What a terrible faux pas. Two weeks in the cellar with you sir.


Why has everyone forgotten Bakiwi Sagna?


Finally, the first decent kiwi pun.


Surely Stoke would be the ideal side to tour Rugby-mad New Zealand?


Actually it fits in perfectly. Middle earth IS New Zealand…… anyone know where the old Zealand is?

He's a blatant diver, but good at it

Yes, it’s in Denmark.

The man who would be bling

: )


Sorry but all this changing names to kiwi business isn’t funny and quite frankly embarrassing to arsenal. It would be a boost to the confederation that badly needs it

Bould's Eyeliner

Since puns are embarrassing to begin with, and nobody on this website affects the Arsenal name, really, to begin with, the general public suggests you relax a little, keep calm, and kiwi on.


I’d be on the first flight over there if it were to happen.. 3 hours beats the hell out of the 22 hours to Europe lol

Only seen us in the flesh once in my life.. 2009 emirates cup, I need my fix 🙂


No offense to NZ but simple economics would seem to make this an easy choice… visit the richest country in the world or one with only 4.4 million people?

No Neck

fuck oz. oz is full of cunts. mostly mancs, (criminals) coem to nz. im an englishman living in nz and would literally foam at the gash to watch them here. 62quid. fucking cheap bro!!


USA is the best choice, especially with Citeh attempting to colonize our fertile lands. Not worried about the United fans. They’re numerous, but will defect the moment their team goes bust (funny story). New York,in particular bleeds Red/White, but we have strong outposts across the continent.


Strong outposts on the West Coast as well – Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, Los Angeles, and San Diego are all hotbeds of Arsenal support. I’d love to see the Arsenal play in Vancouver or Seattle, but they won’t because the fields aren’t natural grass. Portland maybe? That’s only a six hour drive from Vancouver. How about the Rose Bowl? Only a three hour flight. Come to the West Coast, please!


Let the arse meet the Bush


That’s choice bro


My two teams together! One sublime, the other….well at least capable of stringing together a few passes this season albeit just the A-League. The Phoenix would be ripped apart, but the atmosphere would be pure party. (Of course it would be Welly).

Aussie Gooner

On behalf of all fellow Australian Gooners I’d like to apologise for the language used above.

To me it would not matter if Arsene brings the boys to Australia or NZ i will follow them anyway.
Nothing i look forward to in my week more than waking up at 3am on a Monday morning to watch the boys and then trying to wake up for work for 40 weeks of the year 🙂

The man who would be bling

See, not all Australians are bad!


I grew up in NZ and I’ve lived in North London most of my adult life and go most weeks. When I was a kid all I wanted was to live round the corner from highbury. Tu meke.

Kiwi Gooner

Nice one, you are living my dream!

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