Thursday, December 1, 2022

Balloon d’oh: Gunners to tick off Laca

Alex Lacazette looks set to earn himself a ticking off from Mikel Arteta after a video of him inhaling nitrous oxide from a balloon was leaked to the press.

The Daily Star published snapshots of the footage, seemingly filmed by the Frenchman himself, which they claim he shared with pals alongside the message “at home, chilling and doing balloons”.

Classified as a legal high, there’s no penalty for possessing nitrous oxide (a.k.a laughing gas), however, filming yourself doing it – especially as you’ve already been ticked off by the club before – is pretty stupid.

A club spokesman said: “This is a private matter which we are taking seriously. It will be handled internally.”

Arsenal had to warn Lacazette, Ozil, Aubameyang and Guendouzi about their conduct 18 months ago when night club security camera footage showing them doing balloons was leaked to The Sun.

Ever the voice of reason, ex-Gunner Graham Dougall wrote in his Arseblog column that we should be thankful the players weren’t doing crack because “they’d be toothless and wanking off tramps under a bridge for their next fix.” He had a point.

All going to plan, Lacazette will be back in training with his teammates tomorrow for the first time since March.

Final ratification of Covid-19 training protocols is due to take place this afternoon as the Premier League takes a big step towards a return in June.

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Dave Napier

He’s our Frenchman, our number 9
Inhales from a balloon, every night
Hippie crack is what he loves best,
And he goes by the name of Lacazette!

Dr Zebra

Ironically it’s going to blow up in his face

Ordnance Dave

Let’s no blow things out of proportion.


Yeah, inhale!


What was he thinking?


I don’t he was thinking, he looked pretty wasted to me.


Don’t film it you numpty


What a load of hot air !
Seriously though, what a pratt to film himself. ?

Artetas Assistant

He was high ???


It must be slightly frustrating to essentially have much of your youth put on pause until your mid-30s retirement when you can let your hair down. Much of the idiocy and decadence many of us have regrettably indulged (and hopefully learned from) is just plain off-limits to footballers. No bike races in the woods after gallons of beer, even if your mate dares you. No tree climbing at 2am in case you snap a limb or whatever. And certainly no off your tits raving in a field to banging French techno music, reaching trancendent states of consciousness previously unimaginable, until… Read more »

Eternal Titi Berg Pat Nostalgia

But they do enjoy speeding in the newest sport cars as opposed to your father’s old Honda Civic. They also have the luxury of cheating on dreams girls.

Reality check

It’s not like they become monks. They trade it with money, luxury, fame, prestige and lots and lots of it..


I think I acknowledged that.


Excellent comment. Simply excellent.

Viva la prof

He should just say it was an air filled balooon and he was messing about with his pals, he could even say “why would I be so stupid as to film myself doing balloons. Give the guy a break man he’s no Kyle Walker is he.


..”at home, chilling and doing balloons” sounds kinda sarcastic to me tbh.


Hope they didn’t share the same balloon, with Corona and stuff.

Boom Saka Laca

It’s no laughing matter


Technically, it is. They don’t call it laughing gas for nothing.


Well done for explaining the joke.

A Different George

Whoosh! Two ways.


I like Lacazette, but I think he’s a player we’d happily let go of with any bid around £25-£30 million,

I can’t see anyone paying that, or matching anything near what we pay him in this market.

If we can’t get Laca or Ozil off our books? Then loaning out Nketiah + Willock to pick up 40+ games is surely the sensible option?

The young lads need to play, Chelsea have used the loan market more effectively than we have.

Public Elneny

Agreed with the 1st 2 lines. But if we can’t sell and replace, we could just bench Laca / Ozil and play Nketiah / Willock instead No need to loan, they aren’t expensive to keep around and will both get plenty of chances so long as Arteta rates their attitude. We probably need the squad depth in those positions anyway. Loans are unpredictable to say the least. And Chelsea’s model is to throw so many youth players into the loan system, mainly as a way to make profit, that some are bound to work out. I’d rather we kept our… Read more »


Why would we ever bench Ozil for Willock, or for anyone else for that matter? He’s still our best creative player, even when he plays at 80%. And so far he’s been pretty good under Arteta. He’s getting back to his best, that’s good for the club.

Public Elneny

Sorry, I completely disagree that Ozil has been pretty good under Arteta, or that he looks anywhere near his best. Pretty sure our best creative player in the last 6 months has been Saka as well He was looking just as physically and mentally jaded as he was before. Except now he doesn’t even seem to have an eye for a killer pass. Our attack has been just as blunt and disjointed as it was before he was brought back in. He can still pull off some lovely feints and dummies in uncontested areas, I guess If our no.10s aren’t… Read more »


I completely agree that Özil is our best technical player even when he plays at 80 percent. Unfortunately he is playing at around 30 %. He won’t get back to his best until June 2021, then he will be gone.Feel free to quote that sentence before in June 2021 in case I am wrong, I would gladly admit it.


Young players picking up 40+ games in a less pressurised environment couldn’t hurt, at some point players need to play consistently. We have a first team squad of 29, which is too many, I’d be all forgetting shot of Ozil + Laca this summer, and moving one of Willock/ Smith Rowe and Nketiah forward in the pecking order. Arteta needs to be careful dropping senior players for youngsters, as Emery found out to his detriment, if results aren’t good? And you have senior players rightly or wrongly on the bench, then the mood in the stands and in the dressing… Read more »


Cameras can identify baloon air ingredients. Thats I say amazing. No?

Cultured Determination

We need to consider our next step carefully. If we are letting laca go because of this incident, and ecchanging him for a player named partey? Hmm…

On a more serious note, i guess we need to build a solid foindation for the squad, and if it means a solid CB and CM for laca and auba thenthat’s the sacrifice we need to make. Just make sure the ones we bring in succeeds or we’re really dead.


If he’d been stealing bags from Gatwick airport, I’d get it. But Inhaling gas from a balloon-really! Another quiet day of football news for the countries main media then.


I think the Hudson-Odoi story has knocked Laca’s little sins to the back page of the newspaper. Laca huffed a balloon, Odoi is being accused of raping someone.


Am I the only one who thinks the club shouldn’t be getting involved at all? It’s not for the club or the media to police this kind of stuff.


I agree with you wholeheartedly. A large wage does not mean we own footballers. Yes, they are public figures, but there is a line where they can expect privay. The mistake was in trusting idiotic friends.


It is when he’s being paid a small fortune every week, his form has fallen off a cliff and he’s being totally unprofessionall. He can fuck off as far as I’m concerned.


Not sure what all that has to do with this tbh, unless you’re suggesting his lack of form is down to the balloons which would be quite the leap.


The balloon thing seems to me to be representative of lack of professionalism and discipline, which could certainly affect his form. And he has been abject this season.


Not sure what him being paid a “small fortune” has to do with it either.

Oh I forgot, certain fans believe players don’t deserve what they earn. So they jump on any flaw to attack them for it.


What if that turns out to be the cure for covid-18?


His form this season has been abysmal, I
often wonder why, he used to so efficient now barn doors spring to mind.


Any good striker can have a dip. I agree it’s been mediocre for too long but 10 goals + assists for 20 league starts is hardly ‘abysmal’. Fitness issues, team not playing to his strengths (any early ball from, say, Ozil?)… Hopefully he comes back strong as there probably won’t be much demand for him. That means he’ll have something to prove.


It’s not great, but it is better then the many alternatives. I still don’t feel good about Laca having a huge tank of nitrous oxide in his living room. It explains why he’s been so off this season. He needs to lay off the balloons and start playing better football.


Balloon D’oh!

Took me a while to get it but that is superb punning

Ben South

It’s a legal high he has broken no laws.


Correct. If he drank 2 liters of Jim Beam each day, that would also be a legal high by the way.

Owen Robison

I mean….its essentially a neutral substance….it gets you giggly for like 10 seconds and that’s it. He’s in his own home, harming no one, and in no way effecting his own fitness. Can the club just be like….aight I get it there’s a pandemic on…this one’s a freebie.


Actions have consequences. If he knows that whatever he’s doing is wrong then why do it and yet he’s such a role model to many youths?


He’s a model to youths for his football talent. Not for his personal life. There is a big difference.

Edward Abara

Please when the league starts please Mr After a, could you please play Ozil as far as he is fit. You know it that, the more you play your best players, the better they become because they learn more quickly and adjust when they review their daily performances. And they know we expect more from them. Makin your best players play every game when they are fit makes them happy and when they (best players) are happy they are at their best and this will give other players confidence to work harder, which in turn makes your team almost unbeatable.… Read more »

Abdulhalim Said

They blow themselves every day here in my car park


I thought doing balloons was code for practicing safe sex

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