Wednesday, October 4, 2023

Report: Houssem Aouar agrees to join Arsenal, BUT …

According to a report from French outlet Telefoot, Houssem Aouar has agreed to join Arsenal.

However, before you throw a party – inviting only a couple of people and observing social distancing rules of course – it’s not quite as exciting as it might sound.

They say he preferred a move to Barcelona or Juventus, but as no bids were forthcoming from those sides, he’s plumped for Arsenal.

Bear in mind this is – if accurate – only the player’s decision, and not evidence of an agreement between Arsenal and Lyon. They say that the two clubs will have further discussions to ‘refine the proposed amount’.

It’s suggested Arsenal have made a bid, but earlier today Lyon president Jean Michel-Aulas said, “Financially, Arsenal are like everyone else [in a tricky spot due to Covid].

“And Houssem could say to himself that the best thing would be to stay with us.”

This sounds like there might be some progress but there’s still a way to go before anything is completed.

So, our advice is calm yer tits for now, have a beer this evening, and see what happens over the weekend.

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stewart tuffin

is it ok to have red wine instead of the beer while I am calming my tits?


Is it ok to have a non alcoholic beverage as well?


Just don’t make it coffee, or your tits will get all riled up again.


Aouar Party likely to rock?


As the saying goes, in vino very tits

Toure Motors

Nicely played sir!

Harry H. H. Smythe

This is my first ever comment on this blog, and I just wanted to say:

Thank you



Artetas Assistant

Kaius is a legend in my book any day


Very good mate


You have won the internet today.

Artetas Assistant

Love this community Sire Blogs , how would you arrange a global get together ????


Oh my goodnes. Well done.


Agent driving interest for him. anyone but jorginho will do for me.

Houston Gunner

Jorginho is a good player – the only issue is that I, like most other well-adjusted humans, absolutely hate his face and everything about him


Genuinely curious, why is he hated so much? Read a lot of comments along similar lines in many places…

Houston Gunner

For me, it was when they won at Emirates during Arteta’s first home game and he escaped a red card and then scored


Exactly this! He shouldn’t have been on the pitch for the goal.


1- his face
2- the way he jumps like a little scoolgirl when he takes a panalty kick
3- his face
4- he’s Sarri’s pet and I hate his gum chuwing face also.
5- we need a creative midfielder and he’s anything but creative.

But mostly his face.

Ray's Parlor

a bit pathetic isn’t it? I mean I d understand it if he was a spuds player, sheringham, owen, terry and the likes, but an Italian who’s never been a cunt in any sensible way. And don’t get me wrong, I am the first one to get in against an opposition player. But Jorginho? Come on. Get a life, a better one!

He won’t solve out midfield problems though

Non flying Dutchmen

As much as anything it tends not to be a good idea to hate any Chelsea player these days as they may very be donning red and white instead within a few years


you’d be remiss not to mention his face


Sounds reasonable enough to me. Aight, one ticket for the hate train, then. (Until or if he becomes a Gunner)

Johnny 4 Hats

For me it’s just the thought of having three ex Chelsea players in our first XI.

It doesn’t exactly send a message of intent.


It’s his face.


I also don’t get how he’s the answer to our problem in midfield?

Tierney Turner

You really need to go back to the 2003-04 season to find a team that didn’t win the league without cunts in the team, I don’t really want jorghinho playing for us either but it could be a necessary evil in the modern game, it’s not like the old days when you could get away with a few Bastards.


I dont like the way he takes penalties.

The Mighty Bun

Has anyone mentioned his face?


Not so far.

Fireman Sam

I’d say 2-3 Bastards and 1 cunt is best. The cunt can start and be benched if he gets overly cunty.


If that’s true he could see Arsenal purely as a stepping stone. Don’t love the sound of that. If we do sign him he could demand a transfer as early as next summer. Maybe we have to accept that kind of scenario for the time being, and he could always decide to stay. IF he signs of course!


I’m not sure as a player I’d pick either of them over us right now.

Teams like Bayern, City and Liverpool are clearly on a different level. The best teams will always be able to take our best players, unless we close the gap.


Which we might to be fair in the coming seasons.

Johnny 4 Hats

It is interesting that we, in fact, are waiting on the players decision. It’s easy to see things in black and white during the transfer madness – Just stump up the cash and make it happen if you want him so bad!! I don’t know how commonplace this is but I suppose it’s to be expected that a player wants to see all the options on the table before making a leap of faith. It would also explain why Torreira and Guendouzi have had so many suitors but no transfer as of yet. Maybe we have players in our squad… Read more »


I guess he is good enough that the very best might want him. I suppose you would want to wait and see.

Barca look screwed at the moment I’m not sure why you would go there.

Johnny 4 Hats

Yeah man, it’s kind of great but also kind of sad.

Like if you were walking in the forest and you saw an injured and confused 40 year old Harry Kane stooping awkwardly to drink water out of a stream from a cupped paw. And you’d think ‘well, at least he won’t score two penalties a season against us after diving horrifically’. But then you’ll remember that, by god, he used to be magnificent, in his special slack jawed way. And you’ll be conflicted emotionally by the revelation.

I may have taken blogs advice about the beer.


I can tell

Johnny 4 Hats

Who the fuck d’you think you’re talking to?!! Heh?!!! You think I’m some kind of joke?!!

Ah, Anonymarse, I love you man. We’ve always had, like, a connection, yeah?

C’mon man, let’s go get a kebab. You know, I had trials for Arsenal back in the day…




It seems the weed was raw, huh?

Phil Markham

Nah, kick the bugger in the water!


Yes, he is. Just like Lord Bendtner. I hope he is not over-valuing his worth/talent though.

Artetas Assistant

Media talking probably. He and his team would be sensible enough not to create that kinda impression you’d think


If he stays for two seasons, plays well and gets a mega transfer we’ll have a really good player and a huge transfer fee, so where’s the problem?


Fair enough, it would be nice to have top players view us as a final destination rather than a way to showcase themselves for “bigger” clubs. Not that we’ve lost any players to huge clubs recently, and with Auba signing maybe the perception is changing.

Perry Crows

Billy is going down about as well as a bollock in a bowl of soup tonight.


That’s probably a delicacy somewhere


It is in my house


Win some, lose some, such is life for an internet commenter.

Perry Crows

That’s the spirit. I’m sure you’ll say something popular one day.


Thanks, your mother is just as patronizing as you. I see where you get it 😉


You just invented that scenario in your head from your own biased starting point. There’s no reason to not be optimistic about this team under Arteta. Some of the legacy clubs are on a downward spiral, we could really be the more attractive club in a season or two.

Onye Igbo

It’ll be sad to lose him.


What’s wrong with him using us as a stepping stone? Countinho did that with Liverpool and they invested that money into building a team that won the CL and PL.

If we sell him next summer to a better side it should yield double whatever we pay for him as a transfer fee.


I’d wager cuntinho wishes he had stayed put now


This. Exactly this. If the report is true, if he signs, if the Coronavirus madness ever stops… if all the if statement conditions are TRUE, Arsenal could get an astronomical transfer fee. Any sane fan would be good with that. And as for Arsenal being a stepping stone…the best we can hope for right now is to be somewhere between the Arsenal we wish it would be and Ajax. Flipping players like Aouar seems a very interesting prospect.


Flipping those Iwobis

Johnny 4 Hats

Sounds like his holidays to Disney World and Thorpe Park have been cancelled and he’s considering if a wet weekend at Grandma’s house is any better than staying where there’s WiFi.

Kampala gooner ?

U know us. We calming for no one. Checking on my barbecue stove as we speak?

Artetas Assistant

Great lingua ?


Throwing a party nonetheless!


Partey* (;


The tits cannot be calmed down!


My tits don’t lie

Andika Pratama

All Tities are good Tities


I’m going to take your advice blogs, will definitely take beer this evening.


Knew blogs would advice that. Full tank already!

Artetas Assistant

Visionary , is that you Arsene ?


I would prefer to hear good news on Partey. Aouar would be good but Partey would really push us a notch up


I will happily take either. Even more happily both.

Thierry Bergkamp (non negotiable)

Everybody says we need creativity and goals from midfield, but everybody seems to want Partey.


It’s because yo get that we can’t just proceed with 2 guys that can’t drive the ball through the middle of the pitch behind this creative genius… Isn’t that exactly what we’ve had with a guy once claimed as the greatest AM in world football that has looked like that Park footballer with brilliant technique that turns to butter and complains at anything physical!? Partey is exactly what we need because we completely lack a big, fast dominant, dynamic midfielder that drives the ball forward through the middle of the park. The closest we have to that right now is… Read more »


Exactly. In addition, Partey isn’t just a one-dimensional defensive midfielder. He is also a creative player who is t shy about joining attack and providing assists. I’ve watched a couple of his games and he strikes me as the closest thing to a complete well-rounded midfielder.


Same. Aouar does not have great stats, I just don’t think he is worth as much as Lyon are asking.

Robert H

His stats were absolutely absurd a few seasons ago, and since then just really good. His worst season as an attacking player is better than Partey’s best season though. Not saying it is easy to judge a b2b mf based on passing %, interceptions, tackles etc but he’s below Xhaka in basically everything despite my own opinion that Partey is the superior player


That is not even true:
The world is becoming just a little too used to someone saying something into fact.
Interceptions, tackles, tackle% and most importantly dribbles and dribble%, of which Partey is among the best midfielders in all of Europe.


That is Interceptions, tackles, tackle%, dribbles and dribble% he is all superior to Xhaka (and only # dribbles is Aouar better – not dribble success – which Partey is among the best in Europe in midfield).


Cracking advice blogs. Cheers all!


Well my rational side is accepting of the fact we appear to be third choice, on the basis that the other teams are currently more successful than us. My lizard brain however, is saying ‘fuck him’. Should we end up signing him he’s going to have to be very special before I take to him…


If I can’t overreact what’s the point of the transfer window


…. but he’s kind of saying “anyone, get me the f out of Lyon.” I hope we slid them a low one. Pounds or Euros that is.


Mhmmm. I have Torreira vibes about Aouar. Great skill and technical ability in their respective positions, but just too small for the premier league.


He’s taller than Torreira. However Cazorla was shorter than Torreira and it didn’t impede him.

Robert H

Doesn’t matter if you’re really good. See: Silva, Mata, Cazorla.

Giuseppe Hovno

I bloody love Cazorla

Don Cazorleone

They said the same about Zola and Juninho

Dave cee

Luka Modric anyone

A Different George

No thanks.


Barcelona is close to bankruptcy, players in uproar and one of the most contriversial boards they have ever had.
Juventus has a manager without a licence and any form of experience, a huge financial mess and Inter, AC, Atalanta and Lazio closing the gap.

1. Obviously neither can afford him.
2. Why??? Lol


Obviously he hasn’t been keeping up with the news.

Lord Bendnter

Anyone know someone who makes custom jerseys?


Good advice Andrew. In fact, as added assurance that my tits remain calm I might even have more than a beer.

Good to see this moving in a somewhat maybe potentially suggestively possibly positive direction.


This is the most click baity headline I’ve seen on Arseblog. I’m surprised.


No… You have to click to find out. The BUT is the bait

A Different George

Yesterday there was a “transfer” post that had a “spoiler alert” that said there was no news. It worked. One of the few Arseblog posts that I didn’t bother reading.

Paul Roberts

Errr no you do not.


No need for that Blogs…you had me at Goodly Morning.


Cheers, Blogs. I’ll take white wine please.


Edu needs to get his finger out. Big D Raul would have wrapped this signing up in no time!


Obligatory dissatisfied/triggered fan: We should have got the Partey started instead. Sell whoever we need to but we need to have us a Partey!


Bare in mind guys, I grew up in France and Telefoot is the equivalent to MOTD so… I’m more hopeful with this source.

Sir John King

If only more news outlets would sign off by encouraging people to calm their tits and have a beer… Blogs, do you think you could cover an election at some point?

Artetas Assistant

Hahaha , First Principles at it’s best. Plentiful hot tits around then

Billy bob

Keep calm and drink cider ?


If true, I guess we’ll have to re-double the effort to offload Torreira for a fee. Last I read, AM we’re only interested in a loan which won’t be any good to cover the cost, or a part of it anyway, for Aouar. Still time to get things sorted but the clock is ticking.


I agreed to love Angelina Jolie for the rest of my life back in 2002

Onye Igbo



Will he be the only player with four consecutive vowels in his surname, ever to play for Arsenal?


Not if he doesn’t sign


Why not offer £30m now and rest £20m over periods of time, even loan him back and stagger payments!


Well TBH?
We kinda’ need a MFing MFer at present.
Another round for the blog on me!

Robert H

Tits are annoyed half the comments on here are about Partey. I think Aouar is a much better player and while Partey would improve us, he is not a Vieira of Kante level (or even type) of player. He’s somewhere more in the Fernandinho mold/level. Fernandinho has been excellent for City, but people are expecting a world class talent seemingly.

Dave cee

I really do wish FIFA would sort out the transfer market. It would be so much simpler if clubs could just buy out the players contract for what it is worth e.g have a 3 year contract worth 3M a year, player is worth 9M, simple. This is after all what the club is saying the player is worth to them when they negotiated the contract. How can it be right that a club has say a 5M obligation to a player but can pluck any number they like out of the air to decide if the player is allowed… Read more »

La Pulgita

The contract is an agreement between club and player but isn’t representative of the amount the player actually earns the club through championships, shirt sales, etc. So unless they have a set release clause a club has the right to decide if the money gained from a player sale or the player contributions benefit it more.

Wilshere’s Middle Finger

I’m full of pints an my tits are still stressed as fuck. Get it done Raul, I mean Edu!


Thank you all arsenal Fan’s

Jon Vines

“They say he preferred a move to Barcelona or Juventus” “They say”….we talk to him (sorry his agent leeches) daily and of course we, and his Club, are not interested in stoking the fire…..we are only interested, as agents, in getting the best deal for us, oops sorry, for him as possible ( for leeches).


Looks like we’re in a field of one bidder at the moment – let’s hope we don’t force up the price against ourselves as reports suggested happened in the Pepe deal, where we may have paid over the odds for some (as yet) inexplicable reason.

Andika Pratama

Let’s remain calm, shall We?


Where’s the fun in that?


From The Mirror, this morning: “Lyon president Jean-Michel Aulas has confirmed Arsenal have made an offer for Houssem Aouar – but says the Gunners’ bid is nowhere near close enough to his valuation. The OL chief also played down reports the French 22-year-old has agreed terms with the north London club in a deal worth £32million. Aulas added that he expects Aouar to remain a Lyon player for the foreseeable future, feature against Lorient on Sunday, and be a part of the squad all season. Aulas took to Twitter on Saturday morning to set the story straight: “At Lyon there… Read more »


We would’ve had a transfer budget to start with and the re-scheduling of the debt released enough to cover running costs, even with Covid. I’m sure we’ll get one if not both Aouar and Partey.


Hmmm. It’s not really that straightforward. Re-scheduling the debt would have had an impact but not to cover the costs (ongoing) of Covid, I think. These are very large for Arsenal, for reasons we all know. The proof of that is the cost-cutting measures taken by the club in addition to the re-scheduling – wage reductions, staff redundancies etc. We may not have seen the last of these. There was/is a transfer budget but we don’t know how much would have been left in the Covid- world we’re in. I doubt it was untouched. We also have fairly substantial installment… Read more »


I guess I’ll spin for his featured player card on Monday then.


Please you are most welcome am arsenal fans from Uganda


This shows the inexperience of the transfer team we have. We are dicking around with first a 32m bid and then a 35m bid. IMO as mentioned, we are not in a strong position, if we want this player we need to pony up otherwise find other solution or wait on it with risk a CL club will swoop in. Granted Lyon mucked up last summer with Liverpool and eventually sold Fekir to Betis for low 20m, we are not in the same position. I would at very least table 40m with add ons to 45-50m, 5m in January and… Read more »


The tits cannot be calmed down!

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