Cat set for Europa League debut

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Arsenal have moved quickly to snap up Cat after the animal impressed yesterday during training ahead of tonight’s Europa League clash with Qarabag.

The furry friend joined in as the players were put through their paces at the Azersun Arena, and head coach Unai Emery was so taken with him that he immediately got on the phone to new Head of Football Raul Sanllehi to insist the club make a move before somebody else harnessed his talent.

The Spanish executive ran the idea past the Head of Recruitment, Sven Mislincat, who was delighted at the proposal and a deal has been sanctioned.

The Gunners will pay 48 cases of pilchards, a scratching post, and an eight ball of catnip every month to Cat, although the details of the transfer fee itself were kept highly confidential.

Speaking to reporters ahead of the game, Emery sounded delighted at the new arrival, and tipped him for big things in the future.

“Sometimes an opportunity presents itself,” said the Arsenal boss, “and you have to be ready. We were whiskers away from losing him to another top European side.

“We’re all feline very good about this transfer, and he will help us play that tippy-tabby football we strive for.

“Thankfully he didn’t insist on any ridiculous claws in his contract.

“Everyone thought I was kitten when I suggested the deal, but I was deadly serious.

“Not only is good in attack, but defensively he’s so strong, going through opposition like they’re ragdolls, and I’m sure he’ll be persian for a first team place very quickly.”

Cat is expected to link up with the academy on arrival back in England where, under the tutelage of Purr Mertesacker, he’s expected to be a truly pawsitive asset in the years ahead.

#notsorry

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hahahaha
1 year ago

Wake up Mustafi, its over.

Full metal gooner
Full metal gooner
1 year ago
Reply to  hahahaha

I believe you mean Mousetafi?

Gunnerer
Gunnerer
1 year ago

Or do you mean meowstafi?

Tim
Tim
1 year ago
Reply to  Gunnerer

The Cat is coming for Shkrodent.

No Longer Laughing Stock
No Longer Laughing Stock
1 year ago
Reply to  Tim

You guys, honestly

Faisal Narrage
Faisal Narrage
1 year ago
Reply to  Gunnerer

Jean definitely got more than 9 lives, which is why he keeps surviving.

hahahaha
1 year ago

Ah, lovely.

Madrid Gooner
Madrid Gooner
1 year ago

Would have been catastrophic if we hadn’t collared him with other clubs sniffing around

Joakim
Joakim
1 year ago

And all I did last night was watch tv… Good to see someone else is producing.

Boom Xhaka Laca
Boom Xhaka Laca
1 year ago

48 cases of pilchards? The game has gone mad.

gunnerpete
gunnerpete
1 year ago

English sides always have to overpay in the market….

DamoDinkum
DamoDinkum
1 year ago

Seeing as we’ve already got the nephew of Danny John-Jules in our youth squad, it seemed like only a matter of time before we signed Cat as well.

Mega
Mega
1 year ago

Let’s all take a paws to consider how long it must have taken blogs to whisker up this treat, and not look a gift horse in the meowth.

I’m feline good this morning having scratched the itch of my arsenal mews.

A purrfect start to the day.

Achira
Achira
1 year ago

The purrfect post doesn’t exi…

Mach to be you
Mach to be you
1 year ago

Can’t wait for Cat to furfill his purrtential with us.

Bring back David Hillier
Bring back David Hillier
1 year ago

One pussy in, one pussy out?

Faisal Narrage
Faisal Narrage
1 year ago

You can tell Ozil loves stroking good p….
Nah I couldn’t do it.

Papyrus
Papyrus
1 year ago
Reply to  Faisal Narrage

Quite the pussy

Air Bergkamp
Air Bergkamp
1 year ago

My wife wouldn’t let me call my cat Purr Mertesacker, so I’m glad that gag has got an airing

Arse City Blues
Arse City Blues
1 year ago
Reply to  Air Bergkamp

My mum’s cats are called Dennis (Bergcat) and (Catrick)Vieira. We almost went for Purr Mertersacker..

AnonymousGun
AnonymousGun
1 year ago

Get a chicken.. at least you have something if it doesnt performs.

Call it Thierry HENry.

Faisal Narrage
Faisal Narrage
1 year ago
Reply to  Air Bergkamp

You should’ve pleaded with her. “Purrrrdy please?” Could’ve worked.

Toure motors
Toure motors
1 year ago

Let’s see the funny article when ozil and sead come down with toxiplasmosis….

Thegere
Thegere
1 year ago

The cat is expected to produce the performance on the pitch and also with confidence that every moment on the pitch is important for us and for the effing Cat.

DamoDinkum
DamoDinkum
1 year ago
Reply to  arseblog

… is he a rabbit?

SB Still
SB Still
1 year ago
Reply to  arseblog

You mean the cat is out of the bag?

Cliff Bastin
Cliff Bastin
1 year ago

Why can’t The Emirates have a cat FFS

OnlyComeToSeeEboue
OnlyComeToSeeEboue
1 year ago
Reply to  Cliff Bastin

Yes, Highbury had a squirrel at least. Well we have Gunnersaurus but not sure he counts.

Ordnance Dave
Ordnance Dave
1 year ago

Mouse Sissoko can confirm the cat, he plays with aggressivity and personality

Nzini
Nzini
1 year ago

Its suspicious how other media outlets have been keeping this signing a secrete.Anyways thanks Blogs for letting Cat out the bag.Media these days.

SB Still
SB Still
1 year ago

Does he have a squad num yet?

I hope it’s catchy

AndyL
AndyL
1 year ago

I thought this was genuine until I got the the bit about pilchards

Wonde
Wonde
1 year ago

i hope he delivers …..i mean kittens

arsepedant
arsepedant
1 year ago
Reply to  Wonde

If he delivered kittens, that would be a miracle beyond anything in the bible.

Mentalist
Mentalist
1 year ago

This type of news is why I pay for the neighbour’s internet.

Daniel Wilkie
Daniel Wilkie
1 year ago

Persian was a bit of a stretch ? otherwise 10/10

Faisal Narrage
Faisal Narrage
1 year ago
Reply to  Daniel Wilkie

Should’nt have put it in the wash.

Chakravo
Chakravo
1 year ago

That furry coat will be most useful on a cold night in Stoke…oh, wait.

TeeCee
TeeCee
1 year ago

He may not look like much, but I hear he’s a tiger on the left wing.

Faisal Narrage
Faisal Narrage
1 year ago
Reply to  TeeCee

He literally prowls up and down the wings.

AnonymousGun
AnonymousGun
1 year ago
Reply to  Faisal Narrage

Or sleeps at the corner all day long. You can bet the media would jump from Ozil to him in no time

Chidi
Chidi
1 year ago

He’s an absolute steal

Badaab
Badaab
1 year ago

The official site reached out to former players, and among them, anders limpurr was very impressed by the signing of cat.

Markus
Markus
1 year ago

Suprised you didnt go with Mjao Sanllehi

Hantal
Hantal
1 year ago

Mesut Ozil no longer the best paid player at the club then

Medium Mozart
Medium Mozart
1 year ago

Well this surely must have blown our transfer kitty?

Gets coat.

Burns coat.

Medium Mozart
Medium Mozart
1 year ago

Finally… our Cat-alyst for change!

Jeez, what am I doing with my life?