Arsenal have moved quickly to snap up Cat after the animal impressed yesterday during training ahead of tonight’s Europa League clash with Qarabag.
The furry friend joined in as the players were put through their paces at the Azersun Arena, and head coach Unai Emery was so taken with him that he immediately got on the phone to new Head of Football Raul Sanllehi to insist the club make a move before somebody else harnessed his talent.
The Spanish executive ran the idea past the Head of Recruitment, Sven Mislincat, who was delighted at the proposal and a deal has been sanctioned.
The Gunners will pay 48 cases of pilchards, a scratching post, and an eight ball of catnip every month to Cat, although the details of the transfer fee itself were kept highly confidential.
Speaking to reporters ahead of the game, Emery sounded delighted at the new arrival, and tipped him for big things in the future.
“Sometimes an opportunity presents itself,” said the Arsenal boss, “and you have to be ready. We were whiskers away from losing him to another top European side.
“We’re all feline very good about this transfer, and he will help us play that tippy-tabby football we strive for.
“Thankfully he didn’t insist on any ridiculous claws in his contract.
“Everyone thought I was kitten when I suggested the deal, but I was deadly serious.
“Not only is good in attack, but defensively he’s so strong, going through opposition like they’re ragdolls, and I’m sure he’ll be persian for a first team place very quickly.”
Cat is expected to link up with the academy on arrival back in England where, under the tutelage of Purr Mertesacker, he’s expected to be a truly pawsitive asset in the years ahead.