Friday, April 26, 2024

Literally everyone fit for visit of Sp*rs

Mikel Arteta has a problem on his hands ahead of the North London derby – all his players are fit.

Every single one of them.

There’s not a sore muscle, sniffly nose, bad back or dicky tummy anywhere to be seen.

It’s a pretty amazing state of affairs, in light of the stunted pre-season and the hectic schedule, so kudos to the medical team.

Now it’s on Mikel to select a squad that can end our five-game winless run against our neighbours.

Come on you Gunners!

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djourou's nutmeg

seriously thought it was some kind of joke! for real, has this ever happened in recent years?

Johnny 4 Hats

Damn. I’ve been using that excuse since 2006.

LeoLeoLeo

You think every things a jok. Maybe your a joke.

Johnny 4 Hats

We are (mostly) fully grown men who jump around our living rooms on account of 11 players we’ve never met and will likely never meet, supporting a club that doesn’t know we exist.

Of course I’m a joke. This whole thing we do is a joke. But a very fun one at that. Especially if we beat the faecal one and his bus tomorrow.

If life wasn’t a joke, then why Harry Kane’s face?

Mayor McCheese

The facial one.

Mayor McCheese

(And by the way, it’s kind of surprising the illustrations they’ll let you get away with on Wikipedia.)

Alex

Best comment ever

Murphy was an Arsenal Fan

This reminded me of Fever Pitch. That is one exceptionally brilliant book, and film (the Arsenal one).

Kentish Gooner

Troll troll troll troll (sang to the rhythm of Sisqo’s ‘Thong Song’).

Cobwebs

Are we allowed to start them all?

goongot

miracle indeed.

Aaron

Finally we have the whole team to choose from.
I, for one, would love us to play on the counter. Don’t they need the win more than us?

Sit tight, man-mark Kane with Partey(who did a brilliant job on Pogba at OT) and let Tierney/ Xhaka snuff out Bale and Bellerin/Saka do the same on Son.
They have very little creativity and if we allow them to play around and hit them with Auba and ESR and Pepe/Odegaard, we will more than likely hurt them big. Bring it on, COYG.

A M

wow

Baichung Bhutia

Leno
Cedric Mari. Gabriel. Tierney
Partey Xhaka
Saka ESR Pepe
Auba

This would be my team.

Smokin'Gunner

Willian
Willian Willian Willian Willian
Willian Willian
Willian
Willian Willian
Willian

Arteta us spoken….

Tapps

are you regretting that yet?

jimbo

bellerin for cedric elneny for xhaka holding for mari

yen

If everyone’s fit I’d prefer Rosicky instead of Pepe. Loves a goal against them lot.

A Different George

Maybe fit Flamini into the midfield too.

Kentish Gooner

I think I’d also swap out Auba for Henry, ESR for Cazorla, Cedric for Dixon, Mari for Campbell and Xhaka for Vieira… job done!

Anders Limpar

And, as good as Gabriel can be, I’d probably find room to squeeze Tony into the backline….

Scott P

Maybe Koscielny in there somewhere too

db10s

Blog’s fav Bobby P loves a goal against them too. Hope he gets the nod over willian.

lil the glasgow gooner

*I* should get the nod over that useless *&^%$(& !!

EgHo

A good one, but not the one starting, I think. Bellerin and Luiz will play, Ødegaard too, but really hope you’re right about Pepe.

The Beast

Agree it’s unlikely both Gabriel & Mari start but I would like to see Holding instead of Luiz. Still, not the end of the world if Luiz starts. I think him and Gabby have a decent understanding.

Also, almost certain ESR will start ahead of Ødegaard. Think Pepe is prob better on the right but hope he gets the nod over Willian, who’s been solid lately to be fair.

Sak, Lac & Craic

It is in the immutable laws of football that you cannot select two left-footed centre backs to play together.

Who knows what could happen if you did that. The fear is that it could lead to something unheard of, like Spurs winning something. Best we don’t mess.

Baichung Bhutia

Yeah there is little chance we play Mari and Gabriel together tomorrow. But I wish we had tried this earlier in the season or try it going forward – think this could be our future CB partnership.

BillyKrystal

Two left footed CB’s? This might be unpopular but I’d like to see Holding start tomorrow. He always seems to do well against London rivals.

ElGunnerLoco

Decent shout this… I’d prefer if just a few alterations were made to it though.. Ryan in for Leno, to lessen the chance of us spontaneously pressing the self-destruct button in the middle of the game. Luiz in for of Mari. I reckon he’s better at defending larger pockets of spaces and not getting dribbled past. We know that Mourinho and his lot always enjoy trying to hit ya’ on the counter. Pepe in for Saka on the right wing. Saka, whilst being immensely appreciated by me, hasn’t quite impressed me of late, with Pepe seemingly being in good form… Read more »

GraeB

Loco indeed.

Hank Scorpio

I’m guessing the starting line-up is Willian plus 10 other guys

LANS 2020

Can’t have two left footed CB’s, otherwise Leno/Gabriel moments agogo

Biggles

Extraordinary indeed. With no excuses possible on that front (not that we would make any, of course), it’s down to us and them on the pitch without “distractions”.

Form suggests it will be very tough and our propensity to make expensive errors doesn’t help either. With the odds against it however, we may just do it after all. Let’s hope this really is the ” funny old game” that Jimmy Greaves talked about.

Wiltoooooooooord !!!

So Willian first name on the teamsheet 😅

Anonymarse

Obviously

GraeB

There’s fit to play and there’s fit to play.

Paul

Hope Willian gets an assist or two 🤷

Arsepedant

I hope he gets about eight.

Twatsloch

Time to stuff them tomorrow! Partly because it’s Spuds but more so because of Maureen and his big mouth.

Biggles

Let’s hope so. If we don’t, I suspect it will probably be down to the type of expensive error that we haven’t (yet, anyway) managed to eliminate from our game. Sunday afternoon’s game would be a good time to start though.

Arsenalista

I know, just when i thought i couldn’t hate the spuds any more they go and hire Satan to be their manager. I hope we absolutely destroy them tomorrow.

Naked Cygan

Any bets on which player will gift sp*rs a goal? Xhaka, Leno, Luiz, Cedric, Ceballoa?
Who will get the first red card? Pepe, Gabriel, Leno, or Berellin?

Martin

As Leno is our biggest culprit at gifting the opposition a goal I wonder why you didn’t mention him

Naked Cygan

You blind? Or just trying to be a di*k as usual?

btw

I predict we go up by 2 goals in the first half. Second half Lloris passes to Kane, circumventing the entire Arsenal midfield, Luis falls on his ass and Kane goes on to score. Three minutes later, Xhaka slides in on Son in our box, gets a red card, and Kane scores the penalty. We look to be holding out for the draw when, in the 95th minute, Bale thundercunts a headed goal from a corner. The ref flags for a foul in the build-up, but it gets controversially overturned by VAR, and we lose 3-2. I find that having… Read more »

GraeB

OK, no need to watch the game now then.😄

Jarghs

I think I hate Jose Mourinho more than I hate Sp*rs.
Perhaps I hate them equally 🤔

DPK

For the first time in my life, I actually admired the Tiny Totts when they appointed Mourinho. I was convinced there was no way they could be a more horrible club & yet by appointing him they pulled it off. Hats off to them for achieving the near impossible. Next thing they will manage to come 3rd in a 2 horse race….

Twatsloch

Most spud fans I know were less than impressed with his appointment. Even more so considering the excellent manager they had just let go.

A Different George

When Mourinho was coaching a team that played Spurs, I often had mixed feelings about who I wanted to lose more (obviously that is different than wanting someone to win). There is no chance of confusion now.

Fatgooner

Get rid of playing out the back bullshit and we’ll beat them.

The Beast

Thing about arsenal is they always try to walk it in.

chepetin

Didn’t we just score two goals from 30+ yards?

The Beast

Not a fan of the IT Crowd then

chepetin

Oh FFS, sorry

The Beast

No worries, most of my attempts at humour are met with confusion

Des's hammerhead

That’s right. Just lump it upfield and our big muscular forwards will do the rest.

Stephen Carson

Please read the memo 📝 sent to all….. It’s part of the MODERN game. Catch up

Pastor Simon

I can’t remember the last time we had such luxury….

Now let’s see Arteta’s masterpiece in squad selection and tactics….

For me I will go with this line up

Leno

Cedric Holding Gabrie

ESR PARTEY XHAKA

SAKA LACA AUBA

Martin

I think you forgot about Tierney 😂

Rich

Starting with 10 men would be a really interesting tactic, can’t see it catching on though….

The Beast

Risky, to say the least, going in a man light. But I like your confidence!

chepetin

The vaunted 3-3-3

Cobwebs

Clever – gives the option of an additional sub at any stage.

I miss Bergkamp

Planning ahead on the useless red card we will get?

Kentish Gooner

I’m assuming the 10 men is deliberate as Willian’s a shoe-in?

goonerstick

I poured a hot cup of tea and sat to read this post. …. yeah

johnire

Not training hard enough. Wenger out!

2highbury

That photo is top notch funny

Rebeldispatch

I want my Arsenal back
Guys out for 6 week’s following a minor trip at training and 3 successive 2 week injury updates

Willy the kid

Do you figure Saka is rested enough to start? He’s looking a bit run down but I’d love to see him own Spurs back 4.

Mayor McCheese

Oh great, no more LANS then? What next? Ffs!

I don’t think Arteta knows his best CB partnership, so any of the four could start tomorrow. Likely Bellerin ahead of Cedric (and Chambers of course). Tierney, Xhaka, Partey pick themselves.

I reckon Spurs will sit back and let us have the ball, so we’ll need the players who have the best technical ability who can pick a pass or through ball.. I still have nightmares about those 284 crosses at the Lane. So I hope it’s ESR-Odegaard-Saka behind Aubameyang tomorrow.

Pepe 65th minute sub if we need to change tactics and start to run at their defence.

Jasonissimo

Yeah, probably they will sit deep and try to hit us on the break. It worked well enough for that lot last time. “Keep it tight and let Arsenal beat themselves.” The other teams have long figured out how to play us. Hopefully we will turn control into goals in the first half and have the concentration to keep Kane quiet. It’s Bale finding some form that has me most concerned.

Vonnie

That’s what everyone expects but we’re brittle when pressed so I wouldn’t be surprised if they come at us, Maureen is a canny old bastard. I’m sure we’ll be prepared either way, Mikel is nobody’s fool.

Marco

Mourinho is a horrible git but tactically is very cute.Arteta has to come up with a plan to outfox him to leave him crying alone on his bus 🚌

Flummoxed

The cutest. Quite abordable really.

Cristian Mihalache

In other words: “No Excuses?!…” I think we’re just in the beginning of a reconstruction process, it’s not gonna be a fun one or a short one…

Sagebrush

NLD ⏳

Priim

We’re gonna win, I can feel it In my bones, but I’m also crazy hungover so what the hell do I know… Come on Arsenal

OdalGooner

In a case if horrible hangover and “better-just-say-yes-when-she-asks-about-stuff” we’ve got friends with a small child coming over for dinner. I am dangerously stupid when tired. Oh well – time to teach another 2 year old about Arsenal. My own youngest daughter is already happy to watch (and sober me snuck in Victoria as her middle name)
Sorry. Rambling. COYG!

dariusz

We need a new meme:

Everyone is fit. Plays Willian.

Murphy was an Arsenal Fan

For some reason, I think we are going to see a front-four of Martinelli, Laca, Pepe and ESR. With Tierney and Cedric as the respective wingbacks

Naira Gooner

Leno
Bellerin holding Gabriel Tieeney
Partey Xhaka
Saka Smith-Rowe pepe
Lacazette

Tapps

That’s exactly the line up I would go with.

lil the glasgow gooner

This doesn’t bode well! (joke, joke!)

Billy bob

Just seen the line-up ☹️ why no Pepe?

Just shrug

👌

Charles

I can’t remember since I started following blogs in 2008 when all our players were fit. Someone prove me wrong

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